A careful heart

Careful Heart

You take your time and do not fall in love easily.You give 50% in a relationship, and expect 50% in return.You like to handle your problems directly and immediately. You are alright with not seeing him/her so often. you expect the person to change for you.You measure your desire to whomever you love by the amount of desire he shows you.You fall out of love easily.

i did one of the tests that requires one to do in order to add that particular application in facebook minutes ago and the main purpose for that particular test was to find out what type of heart you have. and this is what i got: a careful heart.

looking at it, i think it is quite accurate.

and the pic looks cute, innit? ;)

i was supposed to go to the shop near prangin mall to get the nutmeg oilments for my sister this afternoon but missey me overslept.

thank god a call from airasia woke me up. if not i would still be sleeping right now. =S

woot

was thinking to a pic of me with the new pompom beanie i bought but then already packed it into my luggage. =(

i had a terrible migraine this morning till just now. the pain was excruciating. i thought i was going to die. cause why? cause i didn't have the pills with me. wtf.

and noises. blardy N.O.I.S.E.S made it from worse to worst. wtf.

i don't care whether it's the lowest volume but as long as i can hear it, it's fcking annoying.what more to say at time like this when i was engulfin with pains in bed while trying not to focus too much on the pain and try to sleep if not missey me would vomit non-stop. do you actually switch on the volumes on your notebook or computer when someone is say, sleeping? and i hate those sounds that comes from msn incoming messages. some people are just damn inconsiderate when it comes to matters like this.

i had my headset on all the time whenever i feel like listening to songs and stuffs and even if i am not listening to any songs, i will let it on to tapis the noises which come from another source when i can no longer tolerate and maintain my coolness towards the uninvited sounds. other than that, i will just mute the volume. really cannot tahan. really cannot tolerate with people who make noises and care not whether you're sleeping or you're suffering from headache or migraine or what have you. and can anyone tell me why do people do things cholo-ly? for example, slamming the door /or be it putting their bottles onto the table and stuffs? well, perhaps missey me is super sensitive to noises and sounds. uh.

i think i have to go for medic check up or something when i go back kch. i've been suffering from pitam-ness. it's like when you squat down or when you sit on the floor and you try to get up right, then suddenly you can feel the flush of blood gushing up to your brain and that bloody hurts and suddenly you feel pitam. then you have to pause and stand still for a bit then it will be alright. could it be low blood pressure or something? h'rmp.

as i've promised last night that i would blog about the literature paper i am taking this semester, the remaining of this blog will be all about literature stuffs. hope it wouldn't bore any of you to death.

so i'm taking Elizabethan Literature this semester in which comprises both poems (which are covered in the first half of the semester) and some elizabethan plays which is going to be covered in the second half of the semester and is so going to be real tough.

what amazes and impresses me is the metaphysical poems that we have covered in class so far. and no doubt that this is one of the lit papers that really cultivates my interest in lit and makes me appreciate those lit works (that's to say, only when it's taught by one of the most expertised lecturers). Among the metaphysical poets which we've covered so far are John Donne, George Herbert and Andrew Marvell. so here i would like to share with you all two of the poems among the many others which missey me likey:

THE DEFINITION OF LOVE .by Andrew Marvell

THE FLEA. by John Donne

go on and check out these two poems. you will indeed be impressed. =)

yours truly like the way, the method these poets used in creating those poems. there's the use of conceit, which is an intricate metaphoric figure which makes ingenious comparison between two apparently incongruous things or concepts in these metaphysical poems. and it requires one to have imaginative and intellectual thoughts and comprehensions to unravel the analogies of the poems. the poet could be agreeing with a certain fact on the first stanza and disagreeing the fact in the next stanza. and this could go on until the end of the poems. but right, after analysing the whole poem, you will get a big picture of the poem and will sort of understand what the poets were trying to say or present in their poems.

what's more interesting is that the poets will use all sorts of elements to potray something and this including using risqué images or geomatrical equipments to portray something. and the result is therefore, sweet. like in the flea, the poet uses the flea to elaborate the symbol of love. it sounds gross but the poem is indeed a piece of art.

missey me have a lot of work to do. i wonder if i could finish the assignment for this paper before i leave for kuching. i doubt it. the dateline is 12.2. on the day i come back to pg. =(

and the test for the computational linguistic paper will be on the week i come back, either on 13 or 14th. so worse comes to worse, i might have to bring my references and notes back home. and in that case my holidays will be sien to the uttermost so to speak.

i like the lecturer who teaches me this particular lit paper (first half of the semester). she taught us a few other lit papers previously. she is someone who's professional, approachable, friendly and not bias at all. she asked us to do this v-day card thingy for our homework this week. and we need to create a poem (a stanza a phrase or two). not easy winsyminsy kind of poems like those i penned years ago but this poem has gotta contain the conceit elements. tough. =( but that what makes me look up to those poets and appreciate their works. =)

lit, is indeed not everyone's cup of tea.

6 more days

6more days and i shall be back in kch.
can't wait people. can't wait.

today i went shopping with three sisters. didn't get anything, except for a pompom beanie.

J has finally changed J's cellphone to the gsm kind of thing and thereby making it possible to text messaging!! wootwoot =)

i didn't get to sleep well last night although i was suffering from severe and rigorous exhaustion due to hectic schedules. it was a strenous day. 8am class and classes were in a row straight, followed with a lunchie with salma, sarah, shelby and kevin and joined later by christopher. after lunchie, went to pisa to check out the flea market selling cheap branded stuffs (kononnya). came back later in the afternoon and went out again till 10pm. and later after night prayer, was out again with two friends for supper. by the time i settled down, i was pretty much drained out and enervated.

so went to bed at about 1+am and lied there, turning around in bed, i still couldn't sleep. i sms-ed my 3rd sista who was about to board and several other friends and J (that's when i tested out texting J. last time all the messages failed to go through, but since J's gotten the gsm phone line thingy, it worked!), i thought about my poems, i thought about some other stuffs and till my brain nearly burst but still i couldn't sleep. i thought that my brain's too overactive. and my heart was beating so fast. so i told myself not to think about anything then i can fall asleep easily. the next thing i knew, it was already 5+. and that was the last time i checked out the time.
i was suffering from insomia because of a silly teh tarik.
next time so don't wanna drink teh tarik liaw.

and i woke up this morning with red sore eyes with bad crankish mood. =S

so tonight i shall sleep early.
yours truly gotta make a run now. it's already 12am sharp.
shall blog more again tmr. more about the literature paper i'm taking this semester. =)
adios.

You vs (italized)You.

i'm so frustrated over certain things that i think i shouldn't be worrying nor caring so much at all.

firstly, i regret for doing form 6. i should have opted other options that i had instead of form 6. dad was worried i couldnt pass, but i somehow proved to him i could do it.

secondly, i regret for hell lotsa things in my life. in the past.
i did the things that i regretted even until now.
i regret that i did the things that i didn't intend to do; things that i was not supposed to say; things that i was not supposed to do. things that i shouldn't be doing at all.
those are among the many regrets.

thirdly, i regret for being in penang. i should have applied elsewhere. or even opted for private college to do the things that i like. i wouldn't be in so much mess right now. wasted too much time, energy, moolah.

fourthly, i regret for getting myself committed into something serious 5/6 years ago and it seems that i'm so attached to it right now that there's no way for me to run away from it. (is this a good thing or a bad thing?)

sixthly, i regret for being brought into this world. my existence jeopardizes my life. i wish i'm a mere shadow. somehow. being a someone, bring you many troubles. being a no one, you wish to be a someone.

many people didn't like me cause i'm being me and because of the tonnes of reasons that they have which i don't really care. i know.
and i never want to comply and give in just because i'm being frank, honest and most importantly, being myself.
and i don't want to be an attention whore anyways. so why bother?

fifthly, i regret all the aforementioned and thousands of others which i bother not to highlight right now. damn. super damn emo right now.

i ain't an attention seeker. but when i really care for that someone, i want him/her to look at me and show me their concerns so that at least i know there are people who care for me. and when that someone is not paying me attention and pay others attention instead, when that others are the type of people that i think is cheap, and that drives me mad because i don't think he/she deserves such attentions.

i know, i myself am being judmental in this matter of which i shouldn't be caring so much. beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder anyhow. so now right, i wouldn't care so much already.

if you like me, you'll like me regardless of how biatchy and how cacated i am.
if you dislike me, you'll have tonnes of whys. i care not what you think of me. the choice's yours.

the choice is yours. i know what your choice is. i can see that you're getting there. but shame on you for having sucha taste. i am so gonna detest you for having sucha bad taste. pardon me, don't get me wrong, missey me didn't want you to pay attention to missey me either. i was just merely not to happy with the choice you made cause i seriously had higher expectations on you. i couldn't believe you would make sucha bad choice. you made you choice and i realized you aint a good thing either cause like many others, you are as cheap as them too so my pre-judgement failed. it betrayed me. i learnt my lesson and thus shall be more aware and contemplate seriously before jumping into a conclusion and finalise my judgements. i'm not asking you to like me nor asking you to hate me cause seriously i don't deserved to be treated transparent-ly as i don't offense you in any other ways. we've never spoken before. maybe just a 'good morning'.a simply greeting didn't disclose much about me. i hope you don't do the same thing i did- jumping into a conclusion about what type of person i am without seriously taking into accounts of my well being and who i really am as a person. whatever it is, i shall, by today onwards not going to hiu you at all cause why? cause you don't deserve my attentions anymore. and yeah, i sympathize you for having sucha taste. tsk tsk.

and to you, thanks for always being there for me.
after so many attempts of running away, i come back to you at the end of the day. i'm sucha silly girl. i know.
sometimes i don't understand why i did that even; knowing the fact that you're the bestest among the bests but i still attempt to run away at times.
thanks to you cause you understand me more than anyone else.
thanks for knowing me more than i know myself.
thanks for being the same old you. and i shall be grateful that you've been faithful and loyal to me all these while. i don't deserve it. i know. i promise you i wouldn't do it anymore.

to you, thanks for being you.
thanks for everything.

it's..

four months and six days to be exact since when you left us.
your mummy will be back in kch in 3 days' time..
all of us still miss you as much as before..
cny's drawing near.. miss the time when you insisted on coming into the house to walk around when we finish decorating and cleaning the house and stuff, to survey and inspect the whole house and wailing around till we give you one mandarin orange only then you willing to get out from the house..
cny will be different without your presence.
love ya lots. and i miss you a lot. =(

i need a puppy. or a rabbit. ='(

i wish i have a puppy now somehow. i was walking back home and i saw this lady carrying her dog and was on the way to have her lunch or tea at one of the coffee shops.. sigh. it reminded me of my dadadarling. and it was my fault to not remember her anniversay on 16.1.08.. :(

anyways.. on tuesday, if there's no tutorial, my lecture starts at 12pm. so right, i went off to campus at 11.30am today. went to the post office to help a sister to post her mails and hurried to the class. i didn't want to be late, not even 1 minute cause i had to leave the class one hour earlier cause this lecture clashes with my university course (english paper- the compulsory paper that requires me to take in order to graduate). so i reached there and saw no one outside the room, i went into the room, and the room was empty. and that was really weird. finally without hesitating, i called salma up and asked her 'hey! where are u guys? where's the class?'
'girl, there's no class today! i knew u are going to forget! hahahaha'. so siao siao-ly, i went to infront of the library, where's there's one strech of benches and sat there till the time's up while taking my sweet time observing people who walked past me. i remember i used to do that last time when there was breaks in between classes. but i rarely do it this semester because i have classes in a row. so there's obviously no time for this.

my memory is fading. i don't know why.
i keep forgetting important stuffs. guess i should really write every single important thing in my organizer. i thought i would remember that the lecture has been cancelled today and didn't bother to write it down. silly.

mdmY called me when i was in the midst of enjoying my pro-observing-session. so we talked and talked and i asked her about kenyalang; about whether or not have they set out the stalls selling cny goodies. and she told me it's really bad this time. previously, days before the the exact day (where they begin selling cny goodies), the sellers would come over to kenyalang and would set up their own stalls but apparently this year, that isn't the case.

compared to the previous years, i guess cny mood this time wouldn't be as that hebat anymore. and that's really sad ok.

i can't wait to go back already. but there's one assignment that i need to do before i go back. bad thing is: tutorials have been cancelled a few times. so also are the lectures because there's so much public holidays and all that. so what to write lah?


argh.. can't wait. can't wait for 30.1 and 1.5.

missey me will be going shopping tmr since it's a public holiday. i'm gonna venture and explore everything by myself. ;)

i miss pineapple tarts so much. cis.

life.

today, ok mayb not, yesterday i mean (it's 25 mins past 12am) was a new start for me. mylord i'm telling ya.

no phone calls after 8pm. no msn-ing. no webcam-ing. nothing. nothing at all.
and i shall embrace, embrace and bear baby, this type of life for the next what? 3 months+?! arghhhhh.

now i miss those times that i had; be it just letting the webcam on or just let my msn on while i'm doing my homework or even a call to inform something simple like 'i'm going to sleep now. byess.' or even msn-ing and talking for less than 1 minute when everyone's busy. but at least there's some communications and connections going on. unlike now. when you're totally cut off from everything. no contact. nothing. everything seems far beyond reach. i miss those times. really. i've been like so attached and dependent on msn/calls/skype and icq even(long long time ago when dinasours ruled the world) for the past what? 5 years? or more?
when all these things are taken away and ripped off from me, it's as though my daily routine is screwed and haywired. lifeless.

i don't want to sound super emo and super dependent. but i just feel so different. those were the times i associated with part of my life. those were the part of my life. those were the times which had been going on since like 5/6 years ago. everyday was the same routine. you have been doing the same thing for the past few years and suddenly opsiedossie, everything turns upside down. i feel odd, ODD and different. perhaps it's the beginning, that's why everything seems so weird to me. =(

anways i shall be able to cope it. just need to make myself more occupied in the evenings. and go to bed early. that should be it. but why am i still grumbling about all these right now? in the middle of the night?! wtf.

life's hard on me. one phase after another. this will be the another chapter of my life that i need to learn how to cope and handle. but... why me?



again.. i'm counting my days to 1.5. can't wait. i'm particularly impatient about this.

mission 1.

i've picked out the bed. sofas. dining table+chairs.
and there's one thing that we didn't agree on: getting a bedside table.
i don't see if there's a need to get that. but J insisted. ffrrrrrr
ok, can always put the books+glasses or whatnots on the floor right? mylord.

ohwell. this morning i woke up damn early to go to campus to join the photography club members for some shootings. mylord i tell ya. i couldn't wake up on time cause missy me didn't sleep well last night though i went to bed very early! constant disturbance and noises are annoying!!!!!!!! wtf.

i was alone for the first half of the shot cause i couldn't find the gang and right, i sms-ed the president but apparently she didn't notice my sms and Chia was saying that i should have called him instead. but well.. i forgot!

rather happy with my shoots today. got a few nice pics that i likey! =)
and Shurong drove me back so i don't have to walk all the wayyyyy back. *superglad*

i miss my ex roomie somehow. wondering how's she doing and all that.

been procrastinating since i got back earlier. wootwoott.
back to work.

ps: i killed another tinyminy baby spider again just now. i stepped on it real hard with my slipper. stupid spider. hail hail glory to misseycherry! cherry rules! spiders, shame on you! woott

i'm amazed

that i DARED to squeeze and smash the tinyminywinzy baby spiders! i killed blary TWO.

shit. i don't know where on earth do they come from. some blardy spiders must have given birth in my blody room. wtf.

i'm so mad and piss with insects! particularly after my encounter with click here. and couple of days ago, my room (the whole shoplots actually) were swamped and territorized by small tinywinsy greenish and brownish insects! there were zillions of it! they were everywhere in my room. they flew in when the nite draws near. and there was one nite when i was getting the homework done, they were so annoying that i had to stop doing my homework and hid myself UNDER the blanket. apparently they were attracted to lights. so when the light's on, that's when they start colonialising the place. they were basically everywhere. everywhere. and my bed was full of the bloody insects! and i had to quickly swiped off the bloody insects from my bed, crawl down and quickly switched off the blody lights. then quickly climbed into my bed and had my blanket cover all my body. and you can actually feel the insects started getting krazzee and cincai flew around and hit everywhere and the sounds of it really gross and chicken you out.

and each morning when you wake up, you'll find zillions of those insects on the floor. basically everywhere in the house. along the stairways. EVERYWHERE. including MY bed. all dead. and you have to sweep and sweep them away. wtf.

and right, i was bitten by insects. they were like 6 bites or more on my body. i had to go see dr yesterday evening because of that. so superbly itchy! it could be that blody greenish and brownish insects' fault! stupid stupid! it could be that bloody spiders too! stupid stupid!

the next time when i see the Lord Jesus, i'm so gonna ask him 'lord, of all the things in the universe, why did you have to create insects? why why why?!!!' uh.

and my encouters with the two blody baby spiders really drove me mad and crazy. !#$%#$% hate it hate it! i hate spiders. i used to have this arachnophobia. so pantang to see even one blody small spider. they freaked me out. but now, i think i've been able to overcome it. stupid spiders. i saw the tiny spider crawling on my blody hand and i shoved it onto the floor, i stared at it, and was thinking should i kill it or should i not. and because i got so angry with insects i told myself i'm so gonna kill the blody spider. so without much hesitate i squeezed it till the juices came out. and i felt so good soonafter. holyshiet. stupid spiders!

and i became so paranoid. even until now. so scared they will crawl on my body and bite me. really very kia lang i tell you. get hauted and traumatized by the whole incident already. wtf.

i hate spiders! i hate ants! i hate those greenish and brownish insects! i hate insects! i hate those tiny little harmful creatures! hate hate hate. uh. fck.


sigh. can't wait to go bck kuching already. counting my days to 30.1 and 1.5.

can't wait. can't wait, people.

yay.

through and done. *winkz*

hopes and faith.

final defense later at 10am.
all the best. :)

stupid

guess what?
missey me went to see a dentist. and guess what?
i had to spend like freaking rm130 on my bloody teeth! fuck.

god knows what i was eating yesterday and somehow some residues of the food or whatnot got stucked between my lower front teeth. so i brushed my teeth routinely and from time to time to make sure residue no more ok.

then right, this morning i felt so awkward because they irritated me a lot. and i really didn't know what to do. so i decided to go see dentist after the movie (watched rendition with salma & wanpeng) because if i were to wait until monday, i'm so gonna be so restless can.
so the moment i stepped into the clinic, i asked the clinic assistant:

'hello, may i know how much does filling cost?'
'that one ah.. i don't know. you have to ask dr.'
'ok. consultation usually how much?'
'you ask doctor.'
'so meaning i GOT to see the dr personally to know all the prices lah?'
'yes.'
'give me your ic'


in my mind - 'YOU IDIOT. EVERYTHING u also don't know.'
somemore right, she's like expression-less. STONED face.
some more no communication skills. how to serve customers like that.

moments later..
i went into the room and asked the dentist:
'can please check out my LOWER front teeth or not. it's like got something there."
and right he checked and he gave me a mirror and asked me to have a look and said
' look, your UPPER front teeth rotten already. between your two big front teeth."
'WHAT THE FUCK?! REALLY AH?! SHITSHIT. HOW COME I DIDN'T KNOW! OH MYLORD!'
'yeap. it starts rotting from behind. that's why u didn't notice'
'shit, this is really serious. fuck. but before that, just check my lower front teeth can. it irritates me.'
'oh, this one no big deal one. just got a bit DIRT. can just brush it off.'
'but i tried what. but still cannot. so meaning i just need to brush my teeth then it'll come off lah?'haiya, i tried brushing it off already. still cannot.'
'ok, but no worries for that, that one can do the scaling one. that one not so serious. but your upper teeth one more serious. you can do the filling first, then mayb next time do the scaling/air polishing'
'okie. so tell me how much does filling cost?'
'forty'
'scaling/airpolishing?'
'fifty.'
'alright. do you guys accept credit card? cause i don't have enough cash with me now." *blushed*
'credit card.. nope. only accept cash.'
'alright. then give me a minute. i go withdraw money. i WILL come back. just give me a minute.'

-so i went off to the ground floor and get some cash.
i only had like sixty with me cause missey me spent like close to rm70 before that.

so when i returned to the clinic-
'so i'm gonna do the filling first ok?'
'yeah sure. wht colour is the filling?'
'i'll try to get the same colour as your teeth. but it will be slightly different.. a bit only.'
'mylord. look, i really don't want to look ugly okie dr. it's my two middle front teeth. i want to look prettyy. so pleasee!' (shit, you guys have no idea how sad i was knowing my teeth are rotting ok. ROTTING. my two FRONT TEETH some more. it's so damn embarrassing can. if it's other tooth, i still can accept it. but definitely not somewhere visible can.."
(laugh) ' yeah i'll try. don't worry.'
' you must ha. must. must make sure it looks nice and wouldn't look funny and awkward.'
'i'll. don't worry. now lie down and relax.'

so probably about 20 mins or more later. i lost track of time.

'ok, it's done. here (hand me the mirror), check it out.'
'h'm.. okies. but yi.. how come my lower teeth feels so awkward kot. like got something like that. like sharp sharp like that.'
'cos last time you have DIRTS stucking between your tooth, like you know the BATHROOM's floor ..' before he could even finish i said,
'yeah i know. like got DIRTS stucking there then will become smooth cos it takes up the holes between my teeth.'
'yeap, you got that right.'
(and i still checkin out my teeth).
'look, here's a model of teeth. it costs more than one thousand ringgit cos it's modelled and shapped according to human's teeth. so here's the place where you feel as though there's something sharp, now try to touch it.'
i touched and said 'yeah. okies.'
'so yeah, it's all clean now. so it's normal for you to feel that way.'
'k.'
'so is the filling ok?
'yeah i think so.'
don't eat anything solid ok.'
'ok.'
'just for tonight only.'
'okies. thankyou.' =D
'you're welcome and yeah.. happy new year alright.'

'shit. i forgotten to ask the dr this. can you help me ask the dr how long does the filling last? will come off one or not?'
'as time goes by, it'll loh.'
'shit. then if anything happens again, can come back here and check not?'
'can. so dr charges you 80 for fillings and..'
'yeah i know, rm130 altogether. here you are.'

and didn't say THANKYOU even.
hello, you're just an assistant ok. you're just a clerk. be more POLITE.

so i walked out, feeling stupid and SAD and fucked up because missey me is rm130 POORER.
i wash my teeth so much. and i thought it was alright all these while.
i just did one filling last september in kch and that dentist didn't even bother to check the rest of my teeth okie. because why? he had a lot of customers. and i didn't make appointment. i just went in and waited for hours until he took some time to attend me. and the reason i didn't make appointment was because the assistant told me that my appoinment will be in FEBRUARY 2008. i'm so gonna die if i were to wait til february. cos that time my tooth. my big tooth behind it. the one you use to chew meats MEATS was rotting. and it was sort of like the emergency case.

i've no idea why my teeth is 'wearing out'. i've been dutifuly, faithfully and diligently washing my teeth so much. i wash it everytime before i go out. after meals. etc.
still one by one is rotting. stupid teeth.
and i think by the time i reach 26 years old, i'll have to use full whole complete set of denture liaw can. sigh. sad sad.
must be because i ate too much of sweets and candies and keropoks last time when i was a kid til teenagers. must be lah.
stupid me.
fucklah.

so anyways, enough babblings.
rendition was superb. i like it so much.
it proves that how the us has the super authority over someone's right. they can just eradicate and bingo you just like that. finish you off and swipe clean the history and records of you and your identity.

oklah, missey me gtg now.
leaving at 7.30am tmr.
damn tired. had such a long day today. and i still have to wash my lingerie and socks later. arghhh!

untitled.

i hate blody contact lenses.
on saturday, while rushing to attend a love feast (in simpler and layman word: dinner) i tried to put on my lenses and one side of it got stucked so i tried to peel it and unstuck it and it was torn. wtf.
and had to send it to dustbin. and they were only half a month old. cis.

i swear i'll never wear one of those things again. super ma huan sial.

after days of craving for sushi. i finally went to tesco. TESCO. to get my sushi.

was actually planning to go by myself today after my class at 2pm but then right missy me was too lazy to take a bus and go to queensbay and have sushi at sushiking. was too tired when i got back. went to take a nap and told myself that i'll go in the evening, say like 5.30 or something and come back at 7.30pm but right, i woke up at 6+pm. so forget it.

so somehow i decided to get the sushi that they sell in tesco. mylord. i was so desperate for it that missey me didn't bother even if it's tesco's okie. tesco's also jadilah. apabolehbuat.

i did not dare to get the sashimi one cause i scared they aren't fresh. so these one also jadi lah. but unfortunately they are so not nice. the rice so damn hard to chew okie.

missey me will be away for a couple of days..from thursday until sunday afternoon. i'm so gonna miss my BED. my ROOM. my BOLSTER (i can't sleep well without bolster.damn). my notebook. internet. and the BATHROOM.

man. how much i despise and detest the bathrooms/toilets (in hotels, motels etc etc firstly they are so dirty. and secondly you'll never know if there's any cctv or pinhole cam hidden inside the bathroom, particularly the one in hotels motels and whatnots.)

so haiya. other than the one at home (kch's) and the one where i'm staying now (these are the ones where you daringly go naked and take your shower, pee and defecate without even worry about anything and you'll feel so damn comfy and at ease all the time.), missy me DESPISE ALL THE OTHER BATHROOMS and TOILETS (yes, including the public toilets! even the one in my campus! so damn dirty! stupid)

so yeah..i am so gonna miss the comfort zones. gonna miss my bed in particular. damn.

anyways, i have been like procrastinating for the one whole night and too lazy to read up what will be covered in the lectures tomorrow.

someone i adore, someone who i didn't meet for close to 2 years, the one whom i used to be so attached and dependent on, the one whom i trust, will be coming back to pg tomorrow for good this time. finally. i'm both excited and nervous to see her again. but still, no honey and no leaven. it's not something personal. i like her being her. but still i don't go beyond than that. don't get me wrong. i like, i love and i treasure all the serving ones here in pg. yeap, all of 'em. no personal preference. no personal attractions.

i realise my blog tidak mendapat sambutan yang baik. i am thinking to close down this blog and blog it elsewhere, like back to my old private blog of which i still blog once in a while.

i don't know. sigh. i wonder if anyone of you read it.

whatever it is, writing keeps me sane.

i need to write. i need to.

opsiedossie

i miss sushiii so much!!
and i miss icecream too!! T_T

my sister texted me and asked me to check out when's my commencement and then book the hotel (although it's like 7 months away? wtf).
and i don't even know whether i'll get through this semester or not..

and right, i've this really irritating and annoying and whathaveyou lecturer for my LHP (some english class that i have to take in order to grad). i shall not talk too much about her right now. don't wanna even think of her because it's so gonna ruin my blody mood. dahlah hujan now.

ok. betta not be carried away with my super emo-ing now.

my sista reminded me of missey me will be leaving the studying world and there will be so much free time that i wouldn't know how to spend my time. because why? cause i seriously do not know what i should be doing after i grad.
and my main concern is: MOOLAH.

i was thinking right, moolah wouldn't come as easy as it is right now. financially, i stil have mrS supporting me. but what about after May? (man, i wish mrS will be kind enough to keep me moolah-ed..) can i still be dependent on mrS..?
and i seriously can't bear the thought that i'll be money-less after this. damn.
what am i suppose to do if i don't have enough pocket money to survive?
who's going to be my banker?
who's going to be the one giving me pocket money?

arghhh. scarrryweary.

how i hate you.

how i hate you.
u distract my attention when i try to get my things done.
u piss me off with your bloody sounds that u make each time u pass by my territory.
i'm so gonna squash you out. and smack you real hard the next time i see you and make sure you die in my hands.

i hate you so bloody fly.

there's one fly still wandering in my room. and it's still blody ALIVE. uh.
i tried smacking it with my slippers but i failed.
and i tried whacking it with my big hardboard that i've. but apparently all my missions failed.
damn. it's so damn annoying. and i'm so blody scared it will leave some poo on any of my stuffs. particularly on my la senza which i hang for drying purpose.

i don't blody dare to smack and whack up any insects (minus mosquitos) because firstly i think they stink and secondly i blody don't like the internal organs and juices that squash out from their blody body.

but after tonight, i'm so gonna not be chicken out and gonna whack every single insects i see. wtf.

sunday sunday SUNDAY!!

i hate sunday.
i hate i hate i hate.

someone asked me to make a copy of a book which me and that someone are going to use for something.

the thing is, this someone didn't pass me the book days ago when we decided to get a copy of that book.

now this someone doesn't want to make a copy of the book for the idiot*self. but will use the original copy. and SO, i'll have to make the copy of the book for MYSELF.

we have to go through that book TMR and now this someone handed me the book and asked me to make a copy of that book.

i'm so blary irritated and annoyed and angry can.
asked me walk all the wayyyyyyyyyyyy just to get a book photostated?!
why blody cant this someone give it to me days ago or even yesterday when we went out?????????

i hate going out on sunday here in penang because i have to go basically anywhere and everywhere (except malls) by FOOT. BY FOOOOTTTTT ok.
and plus, i don't want to wash my hair all over again when i reach home.
it's such a troublesome thing to do!
i had to take shower and wash my hair (even if i've already taken my shower and wash my hair before i go out) everytime i got back from somewhere because it's freaking dirty here and imagine how you're exposed to dirty air and fumes from buses and cars and motocycles while walking along the road. mylord.

fuck.

mrS & mdmY.

man. i dont know why suddenly i super miss mrS & mdmY damn a lot.
arghh... miss miss miss..
can't wait to go back.. ! ='(

i wish to comment and blog about

the latest shocking news in the nation.
but then i scared i'll end up in *.

feel so darned.

Prosperity buurrrger!

me and thy roomie went to mcD to indulge these (pics below) for our lunchie on 01.01.08. =D

curleeeeyyyyyy frieesss!! but too bad, it wasn't really that nice.. it was ok, just ok.

i miss the curly fries i had in the states:

yeah, curly fries with ribs. it's PORKie ribs for your information. yeah missy me ATE those ribs.

(although i DON'T EAT and TOUCH porkies at all. but somehow someone talked me into eating those ribs. i tried and they seriously DON'T SMELL porkish at all. so i ate. and yeah, they were rather yummylicious i must admit. of cos they taste nice cos they don't blardy smell at all. unlike the porkies here! uh!) i miss those fries with honey mustard sauce!! yummyyummy!

i am not sure whether it's missey me being paranoid or whatnot, but somehow i have a feeling that the prosperity burger doesn't taste like the one i tasted years ago. it somehow tastes differently. as for the size, don't you guys think it's shrinked a bit?

but i like it this year because they come with green tea. green tea's the best!