Wednesday, 25 June 2008


of all the things,
i am actually craving for ROASTED CHICKEN RICE + MEE JAWA with SATAYS now! grrr

Tuesday, 24 June 2008

To WPeng,

the saviour,

From helping me printing out my assignments (back in hostel) and speeding me to the cyber café to print out the assignments to helping me to hand in the assignments due to my forever-last-min attitude and b4 i got the printer (was dragging my feet to get it obviously) i truly appreciate those times when you came and helped me out.

Remember how I used to tell you that I’ll change the next sem and cut off the bad habit and do the assignments ahead of time regardless of what and how I never kept those promises? L0L.

remember how I poured the stupid orange yogurt juice into my bag pack during orientation?! L0L.

You truly came to aid when I needed your help. And I really appreciate that.

the partner-in-crime,

Whom I asked for favour when I really couldn’t attend the lectures sometimes [like i woke up real late as a result from burning mid night oil for the assignment(s) ]. ‘peng, help me sign my attendance! Remember!’

And how u asked me sign for u when u couldn’t make it. Wakakakka.

Really so berkerjasama when it comes to skipping lectures. BUT i RARELY skip class ok. me very good girl wan.

the driver,

who always drove us around. and man, she could really remember the horrible roads in penang. Gonna be the best penang tourist guard! She knows where to get the yummy breads, the best icekacang etc.

the notes provider,

She was there to provide me with notes before our finals from first year to final year cos she always know there are notes which need to be photocopied and read while I always the one who doesn’t know what’s going on.

the study partner,

When it comes to group study before finals.

Knowing she’ll be easily distracted if she does her revision in her room in hostel, I will usually ask her to come over to my place so that I, being the mean one can always force her to study. But somehow we will end up cakap kosong and makan a lot! Either that she’ll hop over to tesco and do the grocery shopping and i will go over to the mamaklorry and buy my tauhu hua!!

And when I stayed in the hostel, I’ll ask her to come to my room and study together when I couldn’t finish studying and when I worried like hell for that particular paper. So i’ll ask her to come and teman me so that we’ll go through the revision together and plus, by having her over to my place/room, I wouldn’t sleep cos there’s someone who always nag me and keep me awake.

(she was my wing neighbour and stayed a floor below my room and i used to give her a missed call and that's the sign for her to come out from her room, and i'll talk to her cos that way can save phone credit! wtf and we will usually shout out our names loud like we own the whole wing. wahahahhaha)

And, and she always sit either in front of me or behind me during exams. (when I forgot my angka giliran that day when the result was out, i had to sms her and asked her my angka giliran! wakaka. she's like my living organizer and secretary ok!)

To my friend and my bigmama, who has gone through the thick and thin together with me in uni, happy 23rd birthday! have a blast~ huGsss!!!!

Monday, 23 June 2008


i hate uncertainties.
2 days ago i received a really bad news.
a news that was meant to determine the path that i shall take after this; my future as per se.

and i thought i could get over and not be saddened over this news yesterday.
and there was a party. there was whole bunch of really nice people. then there was a campfire. everything was perfect. i wasn't bored. i had fun.
but still, it couldn't change the fact that the new has indeed turned my world upside down.

i don't even have the mood to blog about the party that was so awesome now.

i was supposed to bound for somewhere else when i got back in msia in aug, for good. i was supposed to. i didn't plan. but somehow it was something that was supposed to happen. i was glad that i'm heading towards thing that i so really want and eager to do. there was a hope. back then at least.
the news really blew me up somehow.

now, my future is doomed. and is filled with these whole bunch of craps and uncertainties that i have to deal with.

one thing for sure, my main option and priority has to be crossed out permanently.
and i'm really really sad about this whole thing.

option B, start sending out my resumes in july. be prepared to work. for if IF i'm lucky enough to get a job. uncertainties kill. really.

i have got no mood even to swear now.

i wish i'm a smart professional graduate. instead of someone who stupidly did english for her major. of all the things, why english? why not something else?! really pekchek. sien. now say anything also useless. stress.

with just a snap, everything is gone. and because of some ridiculous unforeseen circumstances everything just got screwed.

and now, i'm basically a jobless graduate who has no bright future.

the news hit me so bad. it basically screws my holidays.

and to wpeng, i need a job. and tell me how and where shall i start?
(and i couldn't add any comments for ur blog entries. u'll have to check out the setting for your comment and all cos it says only group members can add or something. hope ur grandma is ok now.)

i'm bound to work.
like it or not. love it or not. that's the way it is.

learn to accept it. i know.
i will, i guess. one day.

Saturday, 14 June 2008


by the stupid weather!
the party has been officially cancelled this morning! omggggggggggggg!!!!!!!
waking up to getting the stupid news isn't a good thing.
what a bad start of the day!
so now i'm grumpy. wtf.

party's gonna be postponed to next sat. so lord, pls grant me a perfect weather next sat okie? puhleeze. loveuforeverandever. amen.

so to cheer me up. my BIL suggested we go see a gay parade later and they all think i should get out of the house since i've been staying at home since the day we got back from the road trip (except the time when i was forced to buy two bloody blouses for a special occasion! and the second time when i was lured into going out by 2ndsissoh who told me we'll be going to the store which i like so i went but was disappointed with the store.) they said i need to be exposed to sunlight. wtf. (but how to be exposed under the sun when there's no blody sun at all? everyday so dark. everyday so cold. everyday so blody freaking sickening. stupid weather. i so need a sunny warm day. omg.

and. and i need to be exposed to more humans.

perhaps that's why i'm gonna be exposed to more gays. later.


Friday, 13 June 2008

Love affairs

last time i was so obsessed with her unfaithful.
now -
and this.

it's a sin. once u listen to them, u would want to listen to them over and over again.

gosh. i so love her.

and i always think there's a similarity between leonalewis and mariahcarey.

i was looking at aliciakey's music video and was reminded of how long have i left the piano at home untouched. and out of curiosity, i tried googling for the long-lost but not forgotten piece of historypuzzle that i once had and will forever possessed. a jigsaw that i'll forever treasure and remember- something that i can always look back and be proud of whenever i feel like the dumbest person. at least.


days and days of strenuous practices, scoldings from my piano teacher and the number of tears that i dropped on the keyboard brought me that far. and now that i've returned all the knowledge and skills i've learnt and acquired throughout the years to her, i seriously feel everything is so wasted. i never made it to completing my grade 8. and that's such a shame. i know.

back then, juggling between f6 and the number of pieces that i had to practice every single day really drained me out. our aim was the appealing perfection and satisfaction- another high distinction for our credits. laying my fingers on the keys no longer seems to be something i enjoy. it was a matter of getting good grades. on top of it were the amount of stress and lack of enjoyments. although there were people like my piano teacher who told me i could do it and can always achieve good grades, like the previous year and the years before. but somehow i no longer had the inward force and my self motivation to push me to work harder towards the goal. and alas, i failed my gr8 with 2 marks away from the passing marks.

i vowed to work harder the very next year and be persevered. my piano teacher told me i could do it. and i believed i could too. but i was then in upper 6. and again, was loaded with so many things at once. and it seemed that working towards to achieving a pass for my gr8 was highly impossible. what more to say a high distinction. i tried to rekindle my love with the piano and to find something, something which i enjoyed and loved back. but what i saw was the impossibilities to achieve a high distinction. i aimed for a mere pass. but deep inside, i knew i couldn't make it. somehow. i gave up. and screwed my second attempt. with 4 marks away from the passing marks this time. and all the money my dad invested on me for my benefits are gone and wasted. i felt sorry. so am i now.

and with the hope of attempting the third time (omg, so malu!), we all knew i couldn't make it anymore as i was bound to enter into university. and at the end, i left with crippled hands and unruly, impossible hope and scattered dream to complete what i've left incomplete.

omg. suddenly feel so emo. wtf.

if i had the chance to redo and delete that particular path and piece of history in my life, i wish i had never achieved that far in gr7. a spark of achievement robbed me off my love and enjoyments i had over the years i played the piano. perhaps, without that achievement, i could at least get a pass for my gr8. who knows.

i even considered to do music for my degree when i did the applications to uni. omg i know. but somehow i knew music wouldn't bring me further away in my life as i've no patience in teaching so teaching piano is definitely out of the question. and plus, i seriously think that playing piano should be something i adore. not something as my profession. and definitely not something out of obligations.

whatever it is, i can no longer set my fingers on piano again. and i havn't been playing it for 3 years. i have forgotten how to play and serenade a piece melodiously. and my fingers are too stiff. the sight of the piano left untouched with pile and pile of dust collected over the years has me the urge to complete what i'm supposed to complete. but the touch of the keys. the sounds of the melodies. are impalpable to me. now.

sigh. i wish i could play the piano again. somehow..

nonetheless, i have an implicit unconditional love. for it.

Thursday, 12 June 2008


pls note that i wasn't holding up my fist or what in the picture (like putting up with the informal everyone-knows-it act like 'yesh!' or what). i was just trying to shove a strain of hair away from my face.

ok. back to what i'm supposed to blog.

the road trip was okie. lotsa stopovers in between. it was tiring in a way that we had to shift from motels/inns/hotels every single day. nomadic life. and mdmY was saying that we were on the run, like the refugees like that. wakakakka.

too lazy to post up the zillions of pictures that i took. though i already ps-ed some of it. but heck, too lazy to post up.

i'm kind of excited for the party that we gonna have this sat. i mean, my life's been so dull as there's not much of happenings lately. ok, mayb there's.. like i havn't shitted for 2 days now? wtf.

u guys have no idea how much pain and susahpayahness that i had to go through and endure during the roadtrips ok. i'm so gonna reveal about my secret that i've been keeping away from public (except my family!) that i do have constipation problem ONLY when i'm out of the house and on the move like- traveling, shifting from a place to another and stuff. i've this really retarded attitude (not that i can control it or whatnot) that i cannot shit except when i'm at home. grrr

the sohs know about it and 4thsissoh got me packets of fibres. and i've been taking this fibres for quite some time now whenever i feel there's a need. so anyways, as retarded as i'm, i was reminded by 4thsissoh to bring the stuffs here. so fearing that i might encounter the shit problem that drives me nuts, i brought packets and packets of the stupidstuffs here.

i brought it with me when i was on the roadtrip, but heck, the stupid fibres thingy didn't work. and i felt so damn awful with the bloated tummy, and felt guilty to eat too much when i didn't shit for days. so u see, how to enjoy my holidays like that. cis.
and the major concern my family had everyday was - whether or not did i shit that particular day.
but best thing is, once i said i am gonna try go pangsai no matter what, fulamak, i was like the almightyqueen. everyone had to give way to me, and the washroom is all mine. i could sit on the toiletseat for hours - just to find out my shits are like the minniemouse's sais! (literally means, very little) and then when i got out from the toilet, everyone gonna ask me ' did u manage to shit? shit a lot or not?' wtf. so you see, my constipation is really an issue, big ones! in the Sohs.

and i have no ideas how many bananas had i consumed! and the most expensive bananas that we bought is one freaking dollar for one banana!

my friend actually taught me a method, and that's to eat one banana then consume a cup of coffee soon after that, and according to him, that will surely make u lausai. i tried that before when i was in us. it worked somehow. i shitted but i didn't really lausai. just pang sai. wtf.

ok, enough for my shits.

i cant wait for this sat! 2ndsissoh has invited all the msian students to come for the party so that literally means i get to meet up with more humans instead of face to face with the same old persons everyday. and i hope there'll be a campfire cause i'm longing for one! i love campfires! weather has been driving us mad lately. gloomy and rainy and cold weather. makes me feel so pekchek all the time. so seriously hope and pray that the weather will be perfectly well and fine this sat. fingers crossed. amen.

i miss my friends. kawankawan skalian, am i dah forgotten?lama tak dengar from u all.
miss hanging out with my friends and girlgirl,boyboy,jien,joanne,ahsiang. i miss these people heaps. sigh.

miss skuling too. miss attending lectures and jolting down notes. wtf.

i soooooo don't wanna stay in overseas (kalau ada chancelah). swear. i wouldn't want to stay anywhere other than msia! dump me in kl which has the worse dirty polluted air and so damn congested, or even pg which comes second after kl, i also don't mind! but definitely not anywhere outside msia! sucky weather makes people grumpy and moody. makes my skin damn dry and cacat. and all the pimples.. sigh. really no cure. feeling ugly and retarded. i need a dramatic and extreme makeover! to cheer me up. like seriously. god.

ps: i swear by my name that i'm NOT gonna cut my hair for the next half a year. miss my long hair so much so that i've been complaining to mrS and mdmY every single day and don't know how many times per day that my hair damn short and that i'm so regret blablabla.

me: pa, u think my hair is nice?
mrS: yes. very nice leh.
me: but dont u think it's too short?
mrS: nope, just nice.
me: but i like my previous long hair! so nice!
mrS: where got, this one nicer.
me: serious or not?
mrS:uh nya one. i like this one. last time one toh lok eh sui. very sam si soi (means messy).
me: but i like it so much and i miss it still!
mrS: *speechless*
me:damn regret! sien lah.
mrS:it'll grow longer one. don't worry.
me:but i want my long hair back now!
mrS: *speechless*

then i'll go over to mdmY and bug her with the same questions.

and i think they are so sick of me asking and telling and complaining to them so much about my hair that i think they gonna disown me soon. wtf.

Saturday, 7 June 2008

to a buddy,

happy birthday.