life.

today, ok mayb not, yesterday i mean (it's 25 mins past 12am) was a new start for me. mylord i'm telling ya.

no phone calls after 8pm. no msn-ing. no webcam-ing. nothing. nothing at all.
and i shall embrace, embrace and bear baby, this type of life for the next what? 3 months+?! arghhhhh.

now i miss those times that i had; be it just letting the webcam on or just let my msn on while i'm doing my homework or even a call to inform something simple like 'i'm going to sleep now. byess.' or even msn-ing and talking for less than 1 minute when everyone's busy. but at least there's some communications and connections going on. unlike now. when you're totally cut off from everything. no contact. nothing. everything seems far beyond reach. i miss those times. really. i've been like so attached and dependent on msn/calls/skype and icq even(long long time ago when dinasours ruled the world) for the past what? 5 years? or more?
when all these things are taken away and ripped off from me, it's as though my daily routine is screwed and haywired. lifeless.

i don't want to sound super emo and super dependent. but i just feel so different. those were the times i associated with part of my life. those were the part of my life. those were the times which had been going on since like 5/6 years ago. everyday was the same routine. you have been doing the same thing for the past few years and suddenly opsiedossie, everything turns upside down. i feel odd, ODD and different. perhaps it's the beginning, that's why everything seems so weird to me. =(

anways i shall be able to cope it. just need to make myself more occupied in the evenings. and go to bed early. that should be it. but why am i still grumbling about all these right now? in the middle of the night?! wtf.

life's hard on me. one phase after another. this will be the another chapter of my life that i need to learn how to cope and handle. but... why me?



again.. i'm counting my days to 1.5. can't wait. i'm particularly impatient about this.