waaabbitt raaaabbbbiitt

i've been wanting to keep at least one rabbit all these while. like since i was in my secondary skul. but then everytime regardless of how much effort i put in in pestering my parents to let me keep, 'nope, beh tang (cannot).' was the only answer i got.

this morning while reading in bed, i fell asleep. and i dreamt.
dreamt that my 3rd sister called me and was crying like mad, telling me mdmY told her that Ada passed away already. She called mdmY and in the midst of conversation, mdmY told her that she wants to go take a nap and 3rd sister reminds her to remember to feed Ada and not to oversleep. and mrsY answered her spontaneously that Ada had passed away more than one month ago.

i woke up immediately soon after. and found out that it was a dream. *thankgod*
the next thing i did was to call mdmY and told her i really don't care, i'm getting TWO rabbits when i get back. and yeah, she gave me the same answer again. but i told her i don't care. and she was telling me how dirty rabbits are and she knows because my dad ever kept them before (my house was like animal farm last last time before i was born. from birds to fish to rabbits. just to name a few back then) and how my cousins and neightbour who ever kept 2 rabbits, ended up giving away all the rabbits because firstly, they were dirty, and secondly, they couldn't stop breeding more and more rabbits. 'neh, look at our neightbour, u remember her rabbits ever ran astray and came to our place right? now ma si already gave away all the rabbits liaw. and that ** (cousin) ma si last time kept 2 rabbits, then ended up having like tonnes of rabbits, then at the end how? gave away the rabbits lah.'

so i told her, then i'll buy only ONE rabbit. then no need scare they multiply. and then she said rabbits LOVE to shit and shit all the time, 'very la sap (dirty) one, later need go clean up all the time.' 'haiya, very easy one, then just go clean up lah.' was my reply. then she asked me where to keep the rabbit. i told her just keep her inside ada's cage. 'the cage u return to bro liaw isit' 'not yet'. 'okie, then no need return to him. just keep it. i want.' and i asked her how long is rabbits' life span and will they listen to what we tell her (no sex preference yet, but i feel like getting a female's. i don't know. we'll see) like if we train her to shit somewhere, will she go to that particular place and shit?' and then she told me she doesn't think so and have no clues about their life span. then she laughed. and that's the end of the rabbit issue and she switched to other topics. =S

the reason why i opted for rabbits is because firstly, i miss my dadadarling still. and everytime we let her out, she'll run in the field/park just outside my house. she hopped. (yes, i don't know why). she ran. with the ears flopping around. she looked like a rabbit. some more she's white ok. so superbly beautiful. sigh. i miss those times.

and secondly, i love rabbits. i don't know why. mayb because they are flurry. =D

so wabbitrabbit is just an absolute right pet to get. not to replace Ada. cos no pets, be it rabbits nor dogs can replace ada neymore. but to replace the emptiness that fills the house since the day she passed away. and i seriously need something to pet and to tame.

i've two neighbours who keep rabbits. one next to my house and the other one opposite my house. the one next to my house, like according to mrsY, she already gave away the rabbits. so now only left one neighbour keeping rabbits. i remember how everytime i brought ada go shitting and urinate, we always saw the rabbits eating and hopping around outside the house. and i usually got so attracted to those rabbits cos they are so very cute!!!

but too bad lah. i don't think they are the kind of animals that will obey what you teach them nor understand what u tell them. unlike dogs. =(

but still, i want to get it. and the thought of getting the rabbit make me so superbly excited!! i can't wait.

finals.

finals starting tmr.
i've both my first and second paper on the second day which is tuesday.
and i havn't even start revising okie. sien.

and third paper is on fri.
guess i should spend some time off pampering myself after that since i've two weeks off til my last paper on 16.11. n yeah me going back on 17. =D
i shall then get my pedi+medicure+facial done before i go back. yayy.. n some shoppings. =D wheee. excited.

now gotta get back to my reading.

CHERRY VS SLEEPissue.

screw it!

waking up EARLY has been a great personal issue for me in which i need to combat and overcome.

why? because i can't seem to be able to wake up early WITHOUT anyone waking me up.

other than alarm clock (which rarely works), i need to rely on people, in that case, to give me more than 10 accepted calls, and another 10 or more missed calls, or by just knocking on my bedroom door, to wake me up.

i feel greatly saddened by my own *sad to say this but it is a fact* sleeping habit.

it's really so bad so that i can't help myself to hate myself for this. omggggGg..

you know. this morning, like any other day, i had J giving me tonnes of calls just to wake me up. my wake up call is rather extreme. it requires that someone to first, try to get to me until i really answer the phone. then he or she will have to keep calling and calling and calling because i have the great tendency to sleep back and once i'm back to my sleep again, it'll be hard and tough for me to answer the calls. either that, i will do this non-intentional-act: have my phone battery taken off because i got real pissed the calls (which i know i shouldn't). but it happens. like always. sigh.

two possibilities may occur if i didn't answer the calls after the first success attempt call: 1. i might answer the phone and sleep back and ignore the phone calls. and 2. i might have successfully waken up and thus, have gone to take shower.

and usually if i managed to wake up, i'll call my wake-me-up (wmu) master back and tell him or her 'thankss! i'm awake now!'

so i say that my wake up call is rather extreme as in that whosoever, whom i referred to as the wake-me-up-master will have to call me tonnes of time just to wake me up. a single phone call rarely works in my case. and this explains why i usually have like more than 10 missed calls and more than 10 accepted calls, which according to my WMU master, i answer the calls and just hang it up just like that. and most of the time it happens repeatedly and more often than not, until the calls can no longer get through because someone, and that's ME, have apparently taken off the battery from the phone. and thus making the battery and the phone no longer in intact and so that no calls will be buzzing me and pissing me off.

(sometimes i don't even understand why i did that. i could have just simply switch off the phone instead of taking off the battery. but well, i guess we can never know what we will do when we are sleeping and can always conclude that what you're doing when you're asleep is unpredictable and beyond description.)

and when he or she fails to wake me up, usually i'll get really angry. and i'll end up arguing with my wmu master and accusing him or her with hundred-ish of reasons why they can't wake me up and one of them are: you speak so soft, i'm asleep, so you expect me to hear you lah? how to know what time isit if u speak so soft? next time speak louder lah! haiyo! and most of the time, i will accuse my wmu master for not making sure i'm really and already awake and blame him/her for thousand of reasons because i failed to wake up early!

and this morning, like any other mornings. i have my wmu master wake me up again. but still, i couldn't wake up. i woke up late again. and the only who succeed in waking me up was the sister (my housemate) who knocked on my door. with just a couple of knocks, i knew i had to wake up already and i was awaken from my sleep. and i woke up, looked at the clock and grumbled and cursed shittttttshitttshitt. pangs of guilt struck me and i got really mad. why mad? because i knew i should have woke up hours earlier. and my wake-up-call was meant at 6.30am today because i wanted to wake up early to do revision despite the fact that i slept at 1.30am. arggghhh i failed to wake up again!!! sien.

so in retrospect, it seems that i have no motivation to wake up early by any means, even if it means wake up early to do revision.

i woke up and found out it's already 8am. meaning i couldn't take my shower anymore because i had to go down to the church meeting hall (which is just below since i'm staying in shoplot) to have the morning revival (for those who do not know what it is, it's something like we, bunch of people persue the word of the Lord early in the morning, have some sharings after we persue and later adjourn with some prayers.)

but i was mad because i woke up late. and secondly, i felt lazy to go down again since by the time i get ready, it'll be way to late and i felt it's pointless in that sense to go down again.

but well, i went down and had morning revival. and i shared. and i said something wrong in my sharing. i was linking the points that we persued to what i experienced this morning; and that was, me unable to wake up. i said "when a sister knocked on the door, i was mad. not mad. but was lazy to come (go) down for the morning revival."

it didn't sound correct to me when i reflected back on what i've shared when i got home. but what i wanted to say during the sharing was 'when a sister knocked on the door, i knew i had to wake up much earlier before that, and i was mad at MYSELF (for not waking up early). and was mad that i had to do the morning revival, but on the contrary, i knew i had to go down and have the morning revival but i was lazy to come (go) down for the morning revival because it was really late already and i don't see a point to go down anymore."

i want to appologize eventhough it's a simple mistake. but i really don't wish to offend that sister who was kind enough to wake me up. and to that sister, look, i really appreciate to have you waking me up every morning ok. and i want you to continually doing so (if i failed to wake up early every morning). because it seems like the only remedy to wake me up is just by knocking on my bedroom door. i wasn't mad at you. but was just mad at myself. and you don't have to feel bad for knocking on my door nor waking me up.
i sounded crappy and my output (of what i wanted to share) came out differently from my input because i was in a rush this morning, and most importantly, i had just woke up and i set my mind on the flesh (for those who do not understand, just ignore it. i malas want to explain it here) and that was why i had all the negative thoughts (in that case: hate the fact that i couldn't take shower then go down to do the morning revival which i had to oblige since i knew i didn't really go down for morning revivals for the past week and it was bad.)

sigh. i really don't wish to offend anyone okie. but it seems like i accidentally tick off someone just like that all the time and it makes me feel so bad.

lack of sleep makes me cranky, sluggish and sloppy. i sleep a lot. but it can't never be enough. i slept a lot yesterday. which i think was more than enough. but then again, i did my revision until 1.30am before setting off to sleep and could barely bring myself to waking up early this morning eventhough if it was already 8am.

dexter told me that he suspects he has hypersomnia and we were talking about this issue over our conversation the other night. not knowing what hypersomnia is, i started googling this sleep disorder thingy and ended up reading a lot of articles regarding this hypersomnia thingy. and towards the end of the conversation, i was pertubed and this whole issue of this hypersomnia sleep disorder thingy is really scarrrry.

uh.

find me a cure. find me a remedy.

so i can't sleep less;

and get rid of this excessivesleepissuethatimfacing.

*toasts*

for the VERY last night of my independence.

one week of freedom has finally come to an end.

:'(

i'm gonna miss this one whole week where i slept like there's no tomorrow.

i can't wait to go back.

i don't know why.

and i'm glad i didn't bet with any of my mates this time.

they were just challenging me to have a bet with them the other day.

they said i sure go back.

and yeah, i'll be going back people.

i always lose my bet particularly *ahem* on this matter.

i remember how many mcd meals i had to treat when i lost my bets to my mates 2 semesters ago.

sigh.

kinda sad that what i intended to do during the holidays can't actually work out as planned.

but nevermind.

there's always a standby & reserved option B-- back to home sweet home.

ohyea. now i remember why i can't wait to back.

i was on the phone with mdmY and mrS earlier and just by talking to them made me even more craving to go back.

and those koncokoncos all are back in kuching;

for practical apparently while some like me, are back for holidays.

but still, can always hang out and catch up with them.

so yeah,

CHERRY is going back on 17.11.2007 (Saturday).

and i have a few things that i want to do when i get back.

1. paint the walls in my room.

2. cook breakfast for mrS everyday.

3. teman mdmY&mrS as much as i can.

4.chillout with those koncos.
5. eat & enjoy all mdmY's glorious cookings& other good yummydelicious food in kch.

wheee =D
6. attend church meeting(s).

*fingerscrossed*

mogamoga all jadi yeah.

and yaaaahoooo, the most crucial point and most-look-forward -thing is that-

i can get as much sleep as i want!

=D

it's really no good

to gadoh with someone. sien.

A Single Call.

while walking alone towards the main entrance of tesco last night one of my bff called. You know what, i really treasure to have her in my life. i miss our high school days. miss those times. i seriously don't mind to go back back then and go through it again. my high school days were fun and those were the most memorable times in my life.

none of my bff actually ended up in the same uni with me. infact most of us are scattered all around the earth. i feel so sad at times and really envy those bffs who managed to get into the same uni and go through the uni life together. it would be so much fun to have her and my other bffs to be in the same uni. life's gonna be really mad. =p

it was funny to see how she was urging me to study hard for my finals over the phone last night . yes, madam. i'll try my best to do my revision. =p really treasure to have such a friend who actually take the troubles to make long distance calls just to catch up with you.

i wish i could meet up with you end of this year. i WISH.

A Blessed Human Life.

this is part of the portions that i find rather amusing. i finished up this book in a day's time. i know some of you might think i'm getting crazy. but heck, i'm a firm believer in Christ. And i'm proud to declare i am in the Lord's Recovery. =D judge me not by my look, the way i dress nor the way i talk.and on top of that i do admit i do curse and swear. but lets not talk about this. As for now, i would like to share with you all something regarding this book that i read. Seriously speaking, i never tried preaching gospel to any of my friends, be it my current coursemates, ex classmates nor schoolmates. Don't ask me why. But to respect others' beliefs as to say. and i first gave out a small booklet about 'Local Churches' to a friend just so that this friend could understand more about my church and i was hoping that he coulf get the answers of his questions there inside the booklet.

As for the below abstract, it is up to you to believe nor not to believe, to accept nor not to accept. The choice is yours as i only have the intention to share with you all these. Pls Don't find it offensive in any way.

pg 54-55: The goal of human life.
The top human life is a life that takes this way of the Lord. This way matches the purpose of God's creation of man and also meets the requirements of the revelations in the Bible. What kind of life can satisfy us? Is it a life that makes a lot of money? Is it a life that obtains a high position? What is the most valuable thing in our life? To put it bluntly, nothing is valuable. Human life in the world is no more than merely a matter of food, clothing, and marriage. How valuable are these things? A person studies, labours, and strives in order to receive a high education, obtain a good job, and have a good future; yet in the end when he dies, he has nothing. We are on this earth not without a goal. We are not here merely to take in food, to put on clothes, and to get married. Rather, we have a positive goal. Suppose we take the way of the world to become a prominent scholar oe even a president of a university. What then? Every one of us will die and be buried, and when that day comes, we cannot take anything with us, not even one dollar or one diploma. However, if we take the way of the Lord, even if the Lord delays His return and we 'fall asllep,' when we meet the Lord we will have boldness because we are not empty-handed; we bring with us those whom we have led to salvation.

Many times, i find myself wondering about the future and wandering in my doubts and thoughts on what shall i do after i graduate later in the future. What the brother has mentioned in the book was right. Sometimes we just couldn't get enough of what we want. We might have achieved something huge, yet at the same time, when we die, we die and there's nothing we could bring. "Vanities in vanity.'

Has anyone of you really ever wonder the existence of human beings?
How and why human existed?

Perhaps, you could try calling upon the Lord Jesus's name.

Pls note that i am in a good state of mind and i am not going insane. l0L.

one-month.

2 days ago was exactly a month since you have left us.

the pain is there but i learn to cope with it.

the pain is there but the memories remained.

one more month and i shall be going back to 338.

things will be different because you are no longer waiting for me and welcoming me in front of the door.

i long for your presence. i know i'll.

and i know i'm hoping for the impossibles.

i miss you so so much.

and i'm hoping that you're familiarising yourself with wherever you are right now.

lately..

i've been sleeping for so much so that i'm getting soo.... HAPPY. l0L.

it's been a long time i didn't have the opportunity to sleep as much as i want.

one week has passed and missy me still havn't even flipped through any of the books yet.

die die.

i vowed to change.

*toasts* for tmr. =D

love feast.

pic taken during the lovefeast tonight at 7A (where i stay).

i invited the serving ones and some juniors.

and thanks a lot to my housemates who not only morally supported me but also helped out with the cooking.

penne pasta with garlic bread turned out well.

i know i look damn fugly in this pic. look more like ahmah. l0L. but pardon me for that.

should i or should i not?

i saw these few jackets and tops that i REALLY like in mng..
how how how..

sushisushisushi!!!!

i sooooooo misss sushi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
arghhhhh.
desperately craving for sushiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i wish i have a car, then can drive to queensbay. then can indulge lots n lots of sushiiii.. :(

how does it feel?

to have everything all to youself?
i wish i've my own room; my own space; my own freedom. to do the things i want.

as i'm typing out these, i'm actually bearing with the pangs of hunger.
for once, wouldn't it be nice if i stayed in hostel?
i would have gone to ahhooi and have my dinner there with my ex-neighbourie and ex-roomie (if she's not to lazy to walk.)

it's drizzling outside.
i recalled back the time i had back in hostel.
i remember right, everyday, 6pm sharp, me and my neighbourie would walk all the way down to another hostel's cafeteria (which has the best chinese stall ever) to have our dinner.
the food is cheap and yummy. ok, perhaps a little bit too oily. but still acceptable.

and food is my main problem here since i moved in.
in my first year (first year in the new place). there was the four of us who shared and took turns to cook lunches and dinners. that went on for like a year.
and starting from this semester, we decided not to share.
i personally didn't want to share because i found out i eat out most of the time so it's a bit pointless to share.

the place where i'm staying now is a shophouse.
there are like 5 coffeeshops below where i stay.

the first one: variety of choices on the day-economy rice, and some other stalls selling mees and etc. but all these stalls opened only till noon i think. then there'll be another stall selling thai food. thai food was like heaven previously. but it's getting sucker and sucker although the prices are very reasonable and cheap. the last time i had it was the nasi goreng seafood. i couldn't even bring myself to finish to whole pack of rice. taste-less. and as for the economy rice, although they have the widest range of dishes to choose from, rather cheap, yet i find myself got sick of the food. because i've been tapau-ing a lot from the stall till i can get the dish by closing my eyes.

the second one: newly opened not too long ago. i find the food sucks. i first tried their duck rice. it was suck. so i never wanted to go back for the second time. but somehow i went with some friends who wanted to try it out. and i had the ginger fried rice. it tasted ok. but my friend found a fly in her rice. ok, nvm about hygiene. but still, i don't find the food that amusing.

the third one: vegetarian shop. which i wouldn't want to eat. unless i've no choice. i don't think i ever taupau anything from there this whole sememester. not to mention about the people who work there. rude. and gadoh 24/7. somemore say is vegetarian. you can find the most retarded and superbly rude people here. the mercedes will come everyday, early in the morning, honkhonk for a couple of times, like 2-3 times. i don't know why. i find myself knowing their everyday routine because my room is the last room and is just inches away from the their kitchen. no offence to vegetarian food (i like the vegetarian kolomee in kenyalang market ok!)but i seriously don't find the food interesting.

the fouth one: the shop went bancrupt. before i knew that there's a economy rice stall in the first shop, i used to tapau the economy rice for lunch for almost everyday since they started the business this semester. the business only managed to survive for a couple of months. very pathetic huh? but i think they deserved it. =p and i seriously think i was the only loyal customer back then. i can even memorize the food they have everyday. i got so sick of the food in the end. and decided to switch. and plus, it was only rm2.5 or less(i think)when i had my first taupau there. and they jacked up the prices each time i made my visits there. untill there was a point i paid like rm4 something for the nearly the same dishes i got (like every normal day, since they don't have much choice). no point. like i said, i was the only one they could 'chop' to sustain their business. but i'm smart. your food sucks. and u charged me a lot for which i don't consider deserve to, based on the portion i got. so tata. i resoluted to the first shop instead.

the fifth one: i havn't eaten anything from this shop since last semester. i find the food sucks too.

i've learnt not to be picky on food since the day i got so fed up with the limited choices of food that i have.
and basically will just eat anything just to make sure my tummy is fed when i'm hungry.
as easy as that.
there are times when i got so sick of the food that i prefer just to gallop down a mug of milk with some biscuits.

i cook. at times. with the limited space in the fridge. i rarely buy vege; except cucumbers which didn't really take up a lot of space. somemore very easy to cook. i don't buy almost anything that needed to be stored up in the fridge.

when i got so sick of outside food, i cook. sometimes. ginger with eggs in particular.one of my fav dishes back home. and i cook cucumber with oyster sauce and ginger. have some rice. then there goes my lunch or dinner.
but sometimes there are like tonnes of people queing up in kitchen, taking turns to cook. and that makes you feel so fed up want to cook either. so i basically cook when there's no one in the kitchen or when nobody is at home. or when i already booked a place before that.
and this explains why i rarely heat up my leftover dish, be it maggi or the ginger with eggs or the cucumber. because i'm too lazy to wait for the stove to be available. or by the time it's cleared and available, i'm already suffering gastric. so care not, just whallop it. janji my tummy get filled.

sometimes i wish mcD and kfc and whatnot is just a foot away. mcD is actually quite near my place but then i still need to walk. and with the raining days like this, i'm too malas to walk all the way there. i'm malas i know. then i shouldn't be complaining.

it has passed the peak hour. i shall now go cook my maggi. finally.

that explains why i miss home and mdmY so much at times.

despite

...all the shits that i have to go through;
i'm glad that i've those friends to talk things out with me.

...the fact that there isn't a lot of things they can't do;
somehow each conversation makes me feel better. somehow.

...how far they are;
i'm glad i've msn to keep in touch with them.

i do appreciate and treasure all of you.

thankies people.

no kidding.

i missed out the chance to register for one of the compulsory papers that i need to take next semester.

i dont understand why on earth that our public uni, ok, my uni in particular (as i'm not sure about other universities' registration system) is like so *.

for all the language paper, the registration starts at the end of the semester.
it's the compulsory english paper. not my major papers. but it's the kind which your university requires you to take. total 4 units altogether.
i only managed to take like 2 unit of it out of 4. because why?
like every other semesters, i applied for it again last semester (my 4th times), bearing the hope that i could gettit this semester, but to my dismay, i didn't get it and i wanted so much to reappeal and hoping so much to get it. with a lot of beggings and pleadings, this is what i got from that someone. (i remember it very clearly. that situation was still, very vivid in my memory. no kidding. because i found this someone is - out of my description.)


'i applied for ** but i didn't getit. can i reappeal for ** ( a much easier paper compared to the rest)?'
' no, you cant. i'm sorry to tell you this. but u can't. unless u want to take up *** ( much tougher paper).'
' but.. but i'm in my final year right now..and..and i really need to take up the paper this semester..'
' so what? you aren't the only one who didn't get it. there are tonnes of them who are also in their finals year and they didn't getit either. like i said, you aren't the only one. so you've no choice. just register for the next semester.'
'...'

so in the end, i refused to take up *** because i know it requires a lot of hard work and stuff and i really didn't want to go through my semester like hell..

and now.. i've forgotten totally that i need to register the paper.. and now the registration is closed.. and i'm dead..
im dead...........
that day, when the registration thingy came to my mind, i asked someone (who zhun zhun was with me that time, since she's going to the language centre) to check for me to see if the registration thing is on already.
now then when i recalled it back, i realized i never heard from her since then.
and i should have checked it out myself.

the previous 2 weeks were like hell to me. i didn't get to sleep for a couple of days. and i neglected a lot of things. including this (registration thingy).
pray for me people. pray for me.

this sememter turns out like bizzare-ly for me.
i missed a lot of classes.
and having said that, the exam slip is out this coming monday.
i went to the my school's office to check to see if there's any warning letters from the lecturers (whether or not i got barred and stuff). and the lady said i'm clear. no letters. but i hope she's positively 100% confirmed.
so i hope when i get the exam slip this mon. there'll be four papers that i need to sit for.
i really don't wish to be barred from sitting for any of the papers in finals..

i know it was my mistake.
i admit it.

i'm the blur student.
i do my assignments. i do everything. but i never really bother to take the initiatives to find out something. i didn't know what novels and other literary texts that i need to read up this semester. and i needed my coursemates to tell me.

i'm suck to the extend of this. i know.

i was ignorant to a lot of stuffs. i didn't bother so much to care for a lot of things.
i attend lectures, i copy notes. i hand in my assignments when the deadlines come.

sigh.
time to change.
i gotta make sure i'm not like that when the next semester comes..
i swear. i promise.

whats the .?

i dont see if there's any point to be the outstanding ones.
if you like it so much to be the outstanding ones. then so be it because i know you so like it and therefore will choose to step a step behind and let you do it and have it all.
and kindly do not put the blame on me.

you cannot put all a lot of excuses and blame me that i was being ignorant, never cared so much and that you have no choice but to have it your way and that you have to do all the shits.

you have always be the dominant and superior ones.
the tasks was meant for the both of us. i know what role and what responsibility i shall take and what i should do on my part.
but you seem to overtake everything and have everything going under your ways.
it's about group work. but bah. i don't care anymore.
you do things without telling me, you make decisions without telling me.
so since you are so keng, i, by any means, wouldn't be bothered to care so much.
so i will just stand aside. it is not that i never want to care or bother, take things for granted or whatever.

call me a selfish jerk but i seriously don't give it a damn. and i don't really care.
but puhleeze dont push up the responsibilities n dirts to me when you couldn't do it. and don't blame me for not being coorperative enough because i seriously don't see a point to coorperate with someone like you.

i won.

i won! =)
it was a good start.
i'm glad that my piece of art was appreciated by others.
n i superbly love my first photography book! :D