half-dead.

was toiled onto a rollercoaster track of life since last week.
it has been.. well.. miserable to me.
but despite all that, i guess what i had gone through for the past week shall be part of my greatest memories throughout my 3-year uni life.

there was a 3-person group assignment which due on 26.2 (where we had to design a set of 2 hours english test paper for first year uni student) and me and groupmates worked days and nights prior to date of submission. having no basic in teaching methods and teaching theories, we basically had to do anything from scratch. and man, never did we realised designing a test is that difficult. and seriously, it really changed our perception towards the profession of a teacher. gotta salute you, teachers out there!

and there was this survey/research thing that i gotta do for my english paper. another group work. anyways, story aside. i don't want to talk about all these. i used to long so much to go back kuching periodically. but then as time goes on, especially lately, i wish i could have more time in penang. there are so many things that i think i didn't have the chance to do throughout my 3 years here. my uni life..is basically screwed up as i missed out things that a uni student should be doing. i missed out all the fun. tmr will be the first day of march. march shall then be well spent although it will be a hell of a month (cos there are so many datelines and stuff) and finals' in a month's time.

i'm playing back all the songs that i used to listen to like 24/7 (i'm sucha dull person that i can listen to the same songs over and over again for a long time) when i was in my first year. they make me so super emo now that i want to cry. T_T all these songs revived back all the memories i had back then. so here i proclaim to the world that i do seriously hoping so much that i would have more time in penang and i really wish there's 60 days per month.

despite the susahpayah-ness that i had to go through throughout the past week, i prefer to look at the bits and moments i seriously treasure for the past week. well, here are some of the galore of pics that i took for the past week and they basically sum up what i did and all that. pics say it all! ;)

with the girls, salma and sarah.

being a penang sakai as i am, i was introduced to this kopitiam located near our uni (which is another side of where i'm staying right now).

their superbly nice pat kapau or something. i can never get the name of the dish corretly! lets just call it pakkapal. so yummilicious that we ate the same thing again the second time we went there. it makes me go jiwang and it's so addictive!

the bed i slept on for 3 nights. and of which the room has unofficially became my squatter. a place where i can change clothes and bra daringly without having to say ' hey, i change now okie'.

the night when we had macdelivery and feasted cos we were too tired doing the assignment. and when i regretted for ordering too much large fries.

my mate. my companion. my other half in penang. proudly present to you, salma M from mauritius. on a night when we went to cultural night. my very first apperance activity as such in campus (which usually held on a sat evening, and me, being a me, couldn't go most of the time because i feel guilty and dare not to escape church's saturday meeting). but i made it last sat because i went to her room for discussion and later in the evening, we went to the show together. and missey me had to brave myself throughout my 15mins walk back home in the mid of the night. i reached home like a few mins before 12am. omggg.

with my friend, kerlee and carol's sister, mingwei who also attended the show.

nasi kandar. i'm so gonna miss it when i go back to kch.

esp when i eat it with my disinfected and thoroughly cleansed hand. =D that explains why i love having nasi kandar with the girls.

with huda, who calls me 'ing' instead of 'ling'.

kami anak sarawak. with juwi.

with menaka. who will migrate to canada soon.

with azfa. us, among the 10 people involved in the play next week. wish us luck.
and god, i havnt hafal the script yet.

These are some of the people i meet along the way and attend classes with for the past 3 years and these are among the people that i am glad knowing. =)

Ewww.

i screwed up my 20% computational linguistic test today.
am pretty much dead meat.
the prof was so damn mad at me that she left the class without waiting for me to hand in the paper.
and i had to rush my ass off to the car park not knowing which way to head to and had to rush back and asked my classmates where did she head to and all that. and i stood in the middle of the road, still couldn't find her. apparently she had gotten into the car. and i saw a car reversing. and it was her. i waited for her, hoping that she would stop the car. i stood there, not knowing what to do. she wind down the window and i handed up my paper to her and appologized. but i knew i am not going to pass the paper anyways. sigh.

stupid stapler. i tried stapling the papers. but because i was so nervous, i couldn't staple it properly. as a result, there was so many holes on the papers and i even accidentally teared off a small part of it cause the stupid bullet couldn't poke through the paper and i had to get rid of it.

excessive spending on i dont know what resulted me in kancah kemiskinan now.
i'm officially broke. T_T

mrS's surgery went well and he's resting well. whee =)

3rd soh postponed her flight back to Jeddah to next monday so i hope the documents for that thing would arrive safely before monday.
and oh yea. i didn't have my english paper test on monday cause the lecturer decided to postpone the test. sien.

gotta go through hell from next week onwards. so many datelines, tests, and assignments.
some more have a play to play. me? acting? no way. i know. but i've no choice cause it's part of the coursework. and i'll be graded for that. T_T

why my life has to be so damn kesian one?

STRESS i am.

i'm absolute pissed off at the thing.

i'm stressed over the test i'll be having tonight. i shall blog about this compulsory english paper that i had to take in order to graduate after i got all my results in may. wtf.

i'm stressed over the test which i'll be having on wednesday. computational linguistic that's the name of the paper just in case you all want to know. wtf.

i'm stressed over mrS's surgery tomorrow.
apparently i fell asleep after talking to J earlier and 3rd sista soh called and told me regarding that thing and told me that mrS has to undergo an operation tomorrow. i was like wtf?!
he went for a check up today and that's quite urgent in that case.

and i have to make up my mind and AND have a fixed and confirmed decision on wednesday the latest for that thing.

life's has been a no good to me lately.
why why why?

a note to Cel.

dadadarling is officially away for 5 months. man, time really flies!
ur mommy cried when we were talking about you that day at home!
we still miss you like mad. and cny is indeed different without you! you weren't there on cny eve, where all the fireworks soaring in the air and with you going krazee over the sight and sound of firecrackers and how we miss your gelagak when u desperately want to go into the house and survey everything.. :'( miss you miss you miss you.

I realize I don’t talk much about my friends and people around me in my blogs. Thereby decided to dedicate this entry to one of my closest friends.

I consider myself lucky in life in many ways.
One of the few things of which I consider myself fortunate enough is to have this friend.
I get to know Cel through a tuition we both went for in form 4. and since then, everything is history.

One of my greatest regrets was not having adequate time to spend in kuching when I went back for cny. I put all my blames in the stupid viruses which attacked me.
Because missey me was basically sick throughout the whole cny, except for cny day 1, and when my illness worsen on the fourth day of cny, it basically screw up a lot of the plans I had in mind towards the end of my holidays as I was scheduled to go back on the sixth day of cny.

Among my many regrets is.. I didn’t make it to attending a dinner with C on the third day when I got back in kuching because I had to accompany my family. On that day, that particular morning, something bad happened at home. And it basically screw up the whole cny mood for us throughout the whole pre-cny thing. And I cancelled off my appointment with Cel ( we were thinking to have dinner together then go senso for drinks) because I thought I should be with my aged parents that evening when they decided to go to Spring after all family has always been my first and main priority whenever I am back in kch for holidays. cause I always think that my parents are really old and I really should spend more time with them whenever I get back in kuching. As for friends, I am still young and still have a lot of time ahead of me and that I can always make up to replace the things that I missed doing with them. Going out for dinners, for example.

So our dinner thing was postponed to cny day 4. but on cny day 4, I was dragged to kpj in the evening and things were not good on my side, I had high fever, 38.9’c and was basically worn out and man, never did I feel so sick before. I had sore throat, dry cough and was basically losing my voice. And my whole body was aching. And the medicines made me drowsy and sleepy. But still I insisted on going out for dinner with Cel (but we’ll have to go to the airport to send my bff off first before that) cause I knew that would be our last outing together since I’m scheduled to leave on Tuesday so there is not much time left.

However, when my family got back from visitings (yeah, they went with me to kpj, sent me home, then went off again to visit people) later in the evening, I was asked to better kuai kuai stay at home and was not allowed to go to the airport even! and dinner had to be cancelled cause he had big family dinner kind of thing to attend. So well, didn’t make it to going out for dinner nor going to a friend's place with qi in the end. =(

As a friend, he knows me well enough. Other than J, he gets my rants from time to time. And he is indeed the kind of friend who will be there for you whenever you needed someone to talk to or whenever you’re in deep shits.

so to you Cel, sorry for not being able to go out for dinner with you. well, part of it was your fault also can. who asked you to have the dinner with your family leh? i don't know whether do you still read my blogs. and one more thing, i'm glad i called you up on cny eve and we still managed to catch up over a drink at starbucks. cause seriously, i really don't know when can we meet up again.

so whatever it is, all the best in everything la dude.

ps: the reason i'm writing out these thoughts i have in mind was because i know this stupid man didn't know that i treasure my friendship with him as much as he treasures our friendship. so thereby this entry is meant to be made known to him that i do care about my friends, particularly those people i consider as my buddies and good friends (as in people who are worth knowing and be friends with) and not merely acquaintances. i may seem to be like someone who doesn't give a shit to people around me, even the simplest thing like calling up my friends to go out for a cup of drinks and all that or even sending a simple sms as per say, but the truth is, even if i don't call my friends, including those who are reading my blogs, and ask you out for drinks and all that, it doesn't mean you guys are not important to me in my life okie. sometimes i just don't have enough time to make things happen. i do think about you guys all the time. but sometimes it's just so tough for me to make out my time to go out and all that. it's not that i don't want.

..

constant arguments make you want to put a . to everything.

but a visit to qi's blog rejuvenates my faith and belif.

perhaps i should not be that so anal bitch and selfish moron.

perhaps i should learn to forgive and FORGET.

perhaps i should be more forgiving.

perhaps i should be more tolerant and considerate.

perhaps i should be more loving.

yeah, loving. thats it baby. loving.

teach me to be a bettersomeone.

and it's today that i am reminded that i shall be less moron-ful and be more merciful.

how did you all celebrate vday? i am still spending mine rushing my assignment due tomorrow.

i still remember how i used to spend vday with my bunch of friends ways back then. we used to drive around in the city, hoping to go somewhere nice to have dinner and all. but usually ended up starving ourselves to death because of the stupid traffic jams. and ended up in mcD for our dinner cum supper. but it was nice seeing all those people selling flowers and teddies by the roadsides and all.

i don't get a single bouquet of flowers this year. not even a stalk of flower. l0L. but i think i got a bouquet of roses on vday last year from a close male friend of mine as a token of well, friendship. nothing more than that. it means nothing when someone, particularly from the opposite sex, gives you bouquet of flowers/flower. okie. it is the friendship that counts.

and the last bouquet i ever received was in sept 2007.

nobody managed to get the flowers that i like. i particularly dislike roses. i don't know why.

both two bouquets look fugly. bad combination of flowers. and bad combination of colours and the sorts. don't get me wrong. i do complain. but at the sametime, i do appreciate from the bottom of my heart every single gift that i get.

one thing that i don't quite understand. why must people give their gfs/bfs (if there are gfs out there for give their bfs flowers) flowers only on vday? why not on normal days? why must it be on vday? giving flowers on vday has indeed become a tradition. break the tradition, break the rules. people are just making use of this time to earn big bucks. vday=commercial day.

ps: oh year. my coursemate, shelby made us a special cute note each. so sweeet of her.

i havn't got the time to take a pic of the tiny note yet. perhaps next time. and then i'll post up the pic.

alright, shall make a move now. time to get back to work.

pps: i so wanna post up some of the pics taken during cny 08 in my blogs and facebook. but so tak ade masa to do so. =S

whatever it is. i'll leave that to some other day.

aadios people. to all my kawans and couples out there, happy vday! whee =)

phew.

back in pg. sad.
got back in pg yesterday afternoon.
and my flight to penang was delayed. sucked.

cny was ok this year. the preparation part was sucked. i never like it anyhow.

day 1 started off a bit bad as had to rush to uncle's house after less than 2 hours' sleep then to kuching specialist hotel (kpj) as he was then admitted.
reached home and slept. was woken up by niece and nephew at noon. went down to wish everyone happy cny and had my lunch. and qi and lawrence and a new friend, lionel visited me.
yes, they were the first bunch of friends who visited me.
wanted to do my assignment at night but couldn't concentrate due to some reasons. didn't feel well so at the end went to bed very early.

cny day 2 was pretty much so so. went to sushi king w my beloved 4th sis.watched jaychow's basketball slamdunk or something. started falling sick.

finally visited two of my friends who stay nearby on cny day 3. and spent the whole afternoon at home entertaining friends. the last batch went off at 6 or 6++pm and had visitors till 8+pm before leaving for kluang station for dinner. was getting so sick that i got moody when we reached my eldest sis's house.

had 2 groups of friends coming over on cny day 4. was dragged to kpj to see doctor later in the evening. had viral infection. high fever- 38.9'C. dry cough and flu.
dinner was cancelled. couldn't send my bff off to airport. couldn't go visiting with the qi to a fren's house. =(

was still sick on day 5. but had to visit J's family as i didn't managed to visit them days before that. left early to pick up 2 sisters who took express to kch. they stayed at my place for a night before departing to kl the next day. went to hocklee to take pic. then brought them to open air market to have kolomee. i had gubakmee. but basically couldn't taste anything at all cos tastebuds go haywire.

and i'm still sick. and i've one assignment due this friday.
and i forgot to bring back my flowery dress. now what should i dress for my skul's lunchie? =(

i wish i can go back kch this weekend. =(