Friday, 27 February 2009

This night


tonight,
i was thinking..hard, when will be the time i could have my nails painted red again? miss my trademark red coloured nails and french mani..
le sigh.
ah...fi.

tonight,
i spoke to one good friend, chucking out my rants and grumbles.
and thanks to you,
i'm feeling helllots better now.
-be a bitch. dont just say, must BE.

tonight,
i was mad at mrS over a mug of milo.
the reason?
i asked him to make a milo for me, but he did not.
moment later i was keksim. and said to him 'ask you make milo for me but u didnt.'
and found out that he didn't know i asked him to make me milo cause he did not pay attention to me when i told him that.
but still, i was angry.
he came to my room, wanted to fill up my bottle of water and i said no need.
as i was still very angry.
but now i feel damn guilty already.

cause he's my mosttt loveddddddddddddd and mosstmossssttmosssst important person in my life.
he's the mostestgreatest dad in the whole wide world!!
how would my life be without him.
no, i don't want to think about it.


sigh. so veryveryvery sorry, pa.


tonight,
i looked through the pics i took during one of those carefree days;
when i had all the time to sleep well, rest well, and travel.
i truly miss those times.

it's alright, i told myself;
gone are the 5 days.
no worries, i told myself;
it's just another 60 working days.

somehow i went through the 5 days.
despite how much less faith i have in myself.
i made it through, for now.
and tmr will be the 6th.

3 months from now,
around this time of the 3rd month,
i shall be ready for another carefree days and months ahead.
and with that, dancing queen i shall be.
cheering and smiling all night long,
for the stress is no longer mine.

i wish... tmr is the 60th day..somehow..


well oh well... tmr is just another day.
another day to challenge my perseverance and my determination to make it all the way through to the 60th day.


bring it on!






Thursday, 26 February 2009

Another

61..days.
yesterday, i looked at the bright side of life, for once.

Wednesday, 25 February 2009

62

and that's the amount of days that i still need to be brainfucked.

patient baby. patient.



saw this pic while sieving through the loads of pix.
it reminds me of those happy times that i once had.
and i miss miss those happy times.
i wish i am that happy now.

le sigh.. FI.

Tuesday, 24 February 2009

2 days down.

i'm stress. tired. stress. lethagic. stress. brainfucked. stress. fuckedup.

the only word i could comprehend now is- stress.

i wish i am there some how.

ahh...FI FI FI.

Thursday, 19 February 2009

sometimes i really wish i could be there, right there, right now.

being alone is one thing, having had to bear with alot of responsibilities, toppled up with stress and stress and stress on your own, is another.

what are you doing now?
i wonder.

Rotting, i love you so.

im scared.
like dammmmnnnnnnn freaking scared, okie.
to face the real world.

i can't wait for 29.5.
i can't wait.
i shall reward myself a good vacation in june.
JUNE JUNE JUNE
a gooood almighttttttttttttty hols for myself!!!!!
fren's wedding on 31st. and i look forward to that. i hopeeeeee i can make it!
and i hopeeeeeeee salma m. will be able to come to msia around that time!

now that the time has cometh, i wish i would have not complained so much about being jobless and rotting at home since end of april 08.
i want to take all my words back.
i love rotting. i love love love.

feel so fucked up nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
despite all that shits, i wish i can handle whateverfckingdarndestshitty challenges coming my way. i gotta be strong.. it's just some freaking 13 weeks.

i'm scaredddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

Tuesday, 17 February 2009

it's 4ish am and i still can't sleep and that drives me nuts so i figure why not i write down my thoughts so thats what im doing now lappie on my lap while typing in the dark having the room all to yourself means total freedom with 100% privacy meaning i can switch off the lights whenever i like or have it on til the wee hours or til the sun slaps me in the face and not having fights or arguments on whose responsible isit to switch off the lights the downsides of it would be not having someone around to have pillowtalks with you or be there for you when you are scared of ghosts i have been going to bed rather late lately and waking up late like 12pm wake up shower brunch tv online dinner tv online sleep i am having sorethroat now cause i had too much peanuts and fries and oh yea i think i figure out the reason why i am stil wide awake by now i had peach tea earlier i still cant find my sudoku booklet nor can i find the sudoku player how ah like that tell me sigh i guess my life is really pathetic i dont know why maybe cause i still cant sleep and still blabbing here ok maybe i should just go ahead and try to sleep even if it means tossing around in bed somehow i wish the night never ends