0.02

heartache kaukau.
a crack on the hinge can cost me a lot.
and to have it operated to get it fixed, makes me even more heartache.
why me. why i have to be the 0.02%.

whatturfis that. tell me.

it's officially

2 months, baby.
T.W.O. freaking months just passed just like that. o.0
but 6 more effing weeks to go before i could have my nails painted in red again. sodamnsadcase.
so bah!

i stumbled across something in hk mid last year and have been eyeing for that something since then. and i've finally come across one that i really LOVE just now after close to one freaking year. and now i'm doubting whether should i get it or not... people say we should reward ourselves and pamper ourselves a little by splurging on something really good for ourselves for all the shitty hardwork has already (yet for me) paid off right... but..

is it really that true?

Kuching Photo Hunt

nelsonthebil and i joined the Kuching Photo Hunt on Sunday. If jien and hao are here, would have asked you two to join pun! So yeah, although my group (group 11) did not win, but still, i had a lot of fun, snapping the whole day and meeting a lot of nice people who have the same passion as i am. as the saying goes, birds of a feather flock together. it was fun mingling and hanging out with the group of people who have the same interest as you.

The event lasted the whole day, from 7.30am-9pm. thankedgod, i was not working on monday.

we were divided into around 4 persons per group, and there were more than 10 groups. Each group was chauffeured by the team leader. Each group was then given a set of 25 questions. And all the answers are in pictures form. We were flagged off at 9am. We then went around Kuching to snap the pictures (as the answers) for the questions. Submission for the pictures was at 4.30pm. We went to as far as jong's crocodile farm, pitcher plants garden and semenggoh wildlife centre to get our shoots. (i mean it was great to be able to go such places on opportunity like this. not like we can go there anytime we want after all.) And for the rest of the questions, we scoured around the town area for the answers.

3 of us even walked from gambir fish market to the sarawak state mosque. go figure.

so it was indeed, an adrenaline rushed event as we had to make sure we managed to answer all the questions within the limited time frame that we had. On top of that, we had to sit down, upload the pics by each one of us, select the ones we would like to submit, and then go through all the pics again, just to select the best answer to be submitted in.

Although majority of them, okie, like all of them (i guess) were using nicecanggih dslrs and were equipped with all sorts of accesories and lenses, and i did, indeed feel inferior with my normal compact, but still i am happy with some of my shots. and most importantly it was the experience, exposure and fun that matter the most.

after having our dinner together, there was some photos sharing sessions. i was amazed to see that there are a lot of great photographers out there. and their pics were really really great!!! compared to mine, mine kacang only! and i really love activity/event as such. if got explorace or whatnots, i want to join pun! cos very fun i feel. very challenging!

here are some of the pics!

#1 trying to figure out where the answers should be and which destination should we head to first.

#2 answering the first question.

#3 one of the many random and unrelated shoots that i took.

#4 again, random shots.

#5 so random again.

took this when i was telling the johorian team member that this is kuihjala, one of the tradisional kuihs.

#6 amazed to see so many types of grains.

#7 pitcher plants. one of my fav shots.



#8 my team members.

so anyways, i did have a lot of fun. wheee. and nelsonthebil's group won 3rd prize (each winner was given a binocular (nikon's). 1st-3rd prize all get binoculars lah, different sizes only! and non winners like me, brought back some worthwhile memories and experience.

ouch

this stupid cut had my thumb bled profusely.
and left a couple of bloodstains on papers,books, and my clothes. wtf.

a day later.

senseless moron

was out for confenssions of a shopaholic (am disappointed with the movie- dull storyline; expected more scenes of becky does the shoppings, didnt really like the way she dresses, albeit all these, i was touched by the scene where she turned up at the church for suze's wedding and the hug that reconciled the friendship, and i adore hugh dancy!).

so anyways, we were late for the 8pm movie. there was these 3 inhumane humans who reached the lift before we did and they just bloody let the lift close knowing goddamn well that we were hastily quicken our footsteps to get into the lift too. so nelsonthebil who was ahead of us managed to prevent the door from closing, got into the lift first, followed with 4thsissoh and then me, and guess what?

that stupididiot guy just let the goddamneddoor close and i suspect he didn't even press the door open button. i had just stepped my right foot onto the lift. and the door just close and hit me on my head and arm. nelsonthebil didn't managed to press the button as he too, had just stepped into the lift and was basically giving ways for the two of us to get into the lift. that bloody guy just stood there and let the door close.

hope my what the fuck! could haunt him+the other two forever. cis. so inconsiderate. some more talk like so angmohs like that. angmohs wouldn't be so not gentleman lo. 4thsissoh asked me 'eh, ok anot you.' i said 'partial concussion. pain lah. what else. stupid wan. didnt even press the button wan.' you heard that, atrocious dumbass?

i don't give a shit about how other ppl dress and all that shits, and no offence to whoever who dress up nicely and carry guccis or lvs and whatnots, like seriously. but i really behtahan those ppl who dress up like so keh si, buoyantly and proudly flashing their branded accessories like that yet don't even have manners. so here you go, fycheapos.

anyways, my lousy cacated 3210 or 3120 whatever model it islah, dont matter, has finally decided to die on me. fts cause i need to spend money again. everyone says it's time cos i'm way too outdated and am known to using lousyoldphones, yet i don't feel the need to getting a new phone and pray to God that the phone will be ok tmr so i don't have to spend money to get a new one. wtf.

fastandfurious was awesome! but van diesel is scarry. why does he look so robotic wan. but paul walker, god.. maybe because he (and hugh dancy) has nicee teeth!
why is hugh dancy so cuteeeee. where to find a someone who looks gorgeous and has nice set of teeth like hugh dancy and paul walker!! i am immensely charmed by these two fellas.

may i dream of hugh dancy later when i sleep. wtf.
i only have 3 hours sleep now. shit.

total random

mrday brings sushine into my life.
didn't know vicenzi's tastes amazingly good.

the miniature orange that always comes in odd numbers of pieces (say 7, and sometimes there are 9 too)
yes, i counted each time before i popped them into my mouth.
and
everybody started joining me (to count the number of pieces per orange)
just to prove me wrong.


i dropped my jaw upon seeing the price. it's so ridiculously overpriced.
it should not be that expensive.
conversion+importing fares,

it should be more or less rm20 instead of a freaking, say, what? 33.99?
damn unfair.
why is our buying power here is equivalent to zero?



the squishy otak.

hunter, i miss you.

and you looked damn cheeko here, hunter.

thedamncute tictactoe.


the tandoori chicken that i cooked. damn hodoh, but quite nice actually!


the fragile but heavy stuff that travelled across 2 oceans.


the lo t'ng and some veggies with lotsa garlic! =D

mashed potatoes, salad and steak.


wow bao. i missmissmiss.



onionblossomtasteslikeheaven.



kimchikimchimyfav.



the tired princess.

i heard krispykreme's gonna be in msia soon.
wooott. and,
wendy's, we need you here, too.

the chicken porridge.

i burnt the chocs.

the bloodysickly egg.

4thsissoh and i were at memory lane earlier to grab a present paper and a card, and whilst browsing through the pink multipurpose pouch which she ended up buying just because it's pink. wtf i was looking through the rack in search for a new keychain, ar then she suddenly shouted out my name and said 'your armanie is here too! wtf.' and i almost had an heartattack seeing a few of armanie's newphews. (cos they were not there the last time i went). and armanie seems old as i got it in january. so newphewslah tu. wtf.
damn kena heartattack sial.

happy birthday.
and i hate you.

Irrelevant.

eh, you all know what this kuih is called?

i mean i call it toh tau (peanuts) kuih, but right i just could not find the toh tau kuih recipe in the internet. i damn suka this kuih. perhaps i got the name wrong or something.

so hard to find this kuih sometimes cause i think there are not many people selling traditional kuihs these days. what happen to those vendors/aunties who made or sell kuihmuihs ah.

i was so happy when i found out yongkwang actually sells this kuih.
the texture for the skin/dough skin is damnnnnnn perfect.
somemore the toh tau kuih damn huge. it's so worth the rm0.5.
damn niceeeeee. slurpslurp. but right, it would be even more yummylicious if more sugar is added to the filling.


pink (depending what shades) is among my fav colours.
but not to the extent to having a pink monitor.
my babygreyyie is dying. T_T

was having dinner at tamankereta last night. and 4thsissoh who was sitting across me, signaled me and said, eh your duplicated armanie is overthere. see the lady with the big pink bag?
i turned over and caught a glimpse of armanienotwo. wtf.
the lady was like very far from us so i could not really see it that clearly.
so i really hope it's not armanienotwo. wtf.

it is now officially monday, 6.4.
and i am having monday blues.
i hope this shitty problem could be over soon.
so i do not have to live in fears
and deal with shits
all the time.
FTS.

i hate mondays,
tuesdays,
wednesdays,
and,
thursdays.
and
fridays.
well,
fridays used to be my fav day among the week.
but somehow because of that stupid prob,
i hate fridays now.
wtf
and and,
ohyea.
i hate
sundays, too.
wtf.

A Reminder

i love mrS more than anyone else in the world.

he's the bestestever and cutestever dad.

it's beyond description.

and he, is my everything.

he (and mdmY) was the sole reason i decided to come back to kuching.

cause i wanted to spend more quality time with them and to make up the loss- things that i did not do (spending time with them and all) whilst i was in pg.

i took up the job offer cause i thought i only have to work like 6 hours per day and i could spend my morning and evening time at home, meaning i will have ample time to spend time with them.

sometimes i have to prepare and finish my work in the morning, and sometimes i wake up late, so sometimes mrS has to be alone (while i am in the midst of completing my work and mdmY is away), doing his own readings and all that by his own.

my fault (for waking up late etc), i know.

my heart ache everytime i see him from afar, thinking about how lonely he is,

if none of us is by his side.

i think my parents have aged.

and they (mrS in particular) look much older now.. =(

my dad has been telling me a lot about stuff, like how my mom and my family would be if he's gone. who would be taking care of my mom and the houses. who should he give his properties to and all that. and that we will not be able to come back home in time if anything happens to him. le sigh. in return, i always shrug off all his doubts and questions by telling him that he should not be worrying so much cause he will be fine and he will have long life. and finish off with a warning that i hope he will never bring up the subject again cause wah beh suka tia.

but somehow he will bring up the subject again.. from time to time. and that really stresses me up sometimes.. cause i am scared to face it should the time comes.

and tonight, he brought up the subject again when we were watching niang jia.

each time and whenever he brings up the subject he will cast out his disappointments (will elaborate further should there be any stuff that provoke me to write about that)

and i am scared i will and have to dissapoint him by any means, even if it means it is not my will to disappoint him.

sometimes it is really not up to me to decide,pa.

my parents are old.

i realised i have to learn how to take care of them, as it is now my responsibility to look after them.

it is not easy..but i'm learning..

sometimes i wish that my elder sisters will be here at home with me. so i need not to bear with this, alone. at least there's somebody to guide me and at least there will be more people around. instead of just the three of us.

i cannot bear the thought of leaving them behind.

i cannot bear the thought of not having them around.

is it the last 2/3 months that i have?

no, i do not know.

and no, i do not want to know either.

whatever it is,
life is short, fragile and priceless.

this is a piece of reminder for me,

to treasure and to love them as much as i could.

around this time of the year last year, i was struggling, partly because i was loaded with school work and mainly because my student life was coming to an end and i had to embark to a new phase of my life so to speak.

working life seemed so exciting back then, prolly because i had an ideal and brilliant idea about how my working life would and should be. everything seemed, surreal and well, fun. i could dress up and go out for lunch with my coworkers. everything seemed... perfect back then. at least that was how i perceived the working life. wtf.

but sadly, now that i have tasted it, that is so not the case.

i am trying not to think negatively about the current situation i am in. but sometimes, my pessimism could really.. stretch.

whatever it is, fts.
and i am the artist to paint my life.
so ah...fi.


8 more weeks, baby.

edited:
ps: i wish i could hide in the duffel at times like this when i stumble across the shits.