i needd i need i neeeddd

alcoholsssssssss
i long for ittttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!

zombie i'll be.

ok, how does it feel like to be awake for the past.. say since wednesday morning?

feelin very ass-ish, i'm seriously deprived and craving for SLEEP.
n im sooo zombie-ish.

thankgod i had my super kaukau 'cham' coffee+tea (i ordered it cos i was attracted to its name 'cham' and was thinkin and hoping that it could keep me awake for another 12 hours perhaps.

however, 3 things came into my mind when i saw it in the menu: either it connotes 'cham' which means teruk in hockien, or either that it just plainly n mainly means 'cham' which denotes 'campur'. and i was wondering how does it taste like to have coffee mixed with tea. so teramat caffeine-ish.

yeah caffeine. thats what i nid the most at the moment.
to keep me awake and make me even more zombie-ish.

a zombie who can't live without caffeines. it sustains her life.

my w/ends are packed up.
so also is tmr.
n thats sad, horrible , and well #$%. yeah u gotme.

to You.

remember i once told you that whenever i feel very sad, i always listen to this song?

la,da,da,da

The smell of your skin lingers on me now

You're probably on your flight back to your hometown

I need some shelter of my own protection baby

Be with myself in center, clarityPeace, Serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know

That this has nothing to do with you

It's personal, myself and I

We've got some straightening out to do

And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket

But I've gotta move on with my life

It's time to be a big girl now

And big girls don't cry

Don't cry,Don't cry,Don't cry

The path that I'm walking, I must go alone

I must take the baby steps till I'm full grown,fullgrown

Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending do they

And I for see the dark ahead if I stayI hope you know, I hope you know

That this has nothing to do with youIt's personal, myself and I

We've got some straightening out to do

And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses theirblanket

But I've gotta move on with my life

It's time to be a big girl now

And big girls don't cryLike a little school mate in the school yard

We'll play jacks and Uno cards

I'll be your best friend and you'll be myvalentine

Yes you can hold my hand if you want to'cause I

wanna hold yours too

We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secretworlds

But it's time for me to go home

It's getting late, dark outside

I need to be with myself in center, clarity,Peace, Serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know

That this has nothing to do with youIt's personal, myself and I

We've got some straightening out to do

And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses theirblanket

But I've gotta get a move on with my life

It's time to be a big girl now

And big girls don't cry

Don't cry,Don't cry,Don't cry

La Da Da Da Da Da (more)

whatever problem it is.. i hope you'll be able to go through it with;

hope, strength and faith.

i truly hope that u'll be alright soon.. okies?

be strong.

everytime..

everytime when i'm rushing my bloody assignments..

when there are deaddeadlines in a row..

i particularly miss my hostel the most.

ok not like i never miss the room i resided in my first year.. but when it comes to rushing or doing my assignments.. i miss it and crave for it terribly!!!

don't get me wrong.

i'm not complaining about the place where i stay right now.

but then again..

what i miss the most is the space i have back in hostel.

the room was much more bigger than the room i've right now.

n how i miss the table.. the long stretch of tableeeee..

and the one i've right now is so blody small..

i don't even have enough place to put my references next to my lappiee...

still can put, but it's soooo blody irritating cos i nid to lift up my mouse, get my book(s) n place my mouse back again onto the top of other book(s)..

the space is just so limited..

when it comes to assignments..

i really burn the midnite(s) oil..

no kidding..

i need the lights on.

but there's no table lamp.

note that: it's not that she doesn't let me switch on the light, but would u feel nice for letting the lights on for the whole night when there's actually someone sleeping on the bed located just an arm away?

and i reallllly realllllyy hateeee toooooo carryyy my lappiiieee to thee livvingg rooommm when it's time for me to get out from MY bedroom.

i hateeeeeeeee toooooooooo go to and fro between MY room and the living roommm..

making a few trips just to:

to bring my references outtttt..

then go back to the room to get the adaptor n whatnot againnnn...

it's just sooooooooooooooooo blooddddddddddddy

troubleeeesomeeeeeeeee!!!!

what makes it worse is that:

i have to resolute to yelllooww lighting instead of the fluorecent onee cos y?

the blody living room is oppositeee one room,

and there are two rooms just next to the living room..

and i feeel bad. feel bad to switch on the white lighting cos i blody scared and feel bad that it'll affect their sleeeepp.

sigh.

excuse me for being rough and perhaps retarded :

here what's i want to swear right now.

F**k.

now now, i'm feelingg

a bit betta.

but still,

i miss 3-60b.

life..

is short.

and i learn to treasure it more;

and live it to the fullest the best i could.

i gotta..

stop thinking about Her and,
stop procrastinating and;
i found out that by reading others' blogs,
it keeps my mind occupied;
keeps me sane and think less about Her;
so i could get on with my life and;
carry out the everyday tasks and things-to-do;
but i'm wasting out a lot of time.
i know.
but this's the only way i could think less of Her.
at the meantime,
Her pic is used as wallpaper in my lappie,
and pic of her can also be found in my msn, my friendster and even my blogs.
my heart ache seeing her pics..
sien..how to get on with my life like this?!

and again..

i miss her dearly..
cried the whole night till my eyes bengkak today.
n cried again whenever i thought of her..

i miss her dearly..
there shall be no other Ada like you.

You shall enjoy yourself wherever you are right now..
Rest in peace ok DadaDarling..

I've spoken to MdmY.
and we've decided that we wouldn't keep any dogs anymore in the future.
You'll be our last.
my wish to get chihuahua and other pulps in the future tarnished and gone..
as there's no other dogs or pulps that can be the same like you.
mdmY said cny 2008 will b different..as you are no more with us.. which is true..
but i know you're still there, watching over us from wherever you are right now..
you know what.. you are greatly miss by all of us...
you're different. you're kuai (goodgirl). you're our everything..


our love to you shall never succeed our love to Lucy or even Brownie as you are our most-loving ones.
we cannot bear with the pain that we need to endure now that you're gone;
thereby decided there wouldn't be any replacement for you.
i shall then develop all the pictures of you i have with me right now tomorrow.. and put it on my study table.. and you shall be missed and remembered all the time..
i'll do the same thing back in 338 when i got home later in the future..

we havn't told your other mommy yet..
we'll tell her whenever time allows.. as we're still waiting for the most suitable and right time..
pray for us that she would keep everything under control when she got the news okie..

Do watch over all of us from 338 from wherever you are right now.
you'll be cherished,
you'll be loved,
you'll be remembered.
you'll be missed.
always and forever.
as you're the best. the cutest. the kuai-est. and the most-loving ones.

and AdaDarling, we'll remember all those years you had with us.. and i'll remember the time i had with you when i got back last week.. it was the very last time.. i'm sorry to let u suffer.. but i thought u would manage to recover as usual.. i love u and miss you so so much.. :'(

In Most-Loving Memory of..

Ada Soh Xue-Ling

1998-16.9.2007

departed on 16.9.2007 (Sunday, close to 19:00)

Ada lovelove,

hand hand give,

left hand,

right hand,

eat eat,

drink drink,

kisskiss,

good girl.

come in.

out.

Ada sit.

there shall be no other Ada that can replace you.

We love u, always and forever.

my heart ache getting the news.

my tears flow out unmercilessly until now.

i miss u dearly.

i told u to be strong..

but i know it's hard..

mdmY said u were ok yesterday already..

n my worries ceased..

i thought u could make it..

i thought you could..

i'm sorry to let u suffer whilst i was there back home..

i should have brought you to the vet..

but i didn't know it was that bad..

i hope you rest in peace right now Dada darling.

love u always, and forever.

reluctantly back at the goddamned place.

will blog when i'm mentally n emotionally stable.

n yeah, pray for me again for this coming monday.

skippin classes..

damn. im sooooo superbly worried can.

*fingers crossed*

let's hope that i WOULDN'T be BARRED from my finals.

arghhhhhhh......... :'(

yay!

i did my shoppin today.

got both mdmY and mrS a pair of sandals each. :D

i sooo..

i soooooooooooooo wanna go shopping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

arghhhh...!!

ok, the next time i go, i'll hv to get sandals for mdmY, and look out for either hp polotees or sandals (too) for mrS.

i want to shop!!!!

arghhh...!!