i can't wait for june / july.
it's not really the month that i most look forward to, partly cause i do not want to go through shits. elaborate later when the time comes.
yet at the same time, i long for it to come by asap so that i can carry out my own plans, else everything is pretty much hanging up in the air.

uncertainties can certainly kill.

today's the 3rd day of skul hols.

gone are the 2 days which were spent on tidoring makaning reading and working on the mission.
and there are so many things on the lists which i have yet to do.
the bags and books are strewn all across the bedroom. and i am still doing nothing about it.
boxes which need to be labelled, sealed and wrapped up.
things on the table which need to be sorted out and kept in place.

it is nice to be able to spend the days doing not so important stuff. sometimes doing shitty insignificant and nonmeaningful stuff such as rereading back the books you've read ages ago, merely flipping through the old mag which you've read weeks ago, or simply spending hours sieving through some old pictures that you took, makes the day well spent.

on a mission

omg. i guess i'll be really busy these few days..
i'm on a mission.

wheeee

i can't wait for the coming holidays.
omg.
it's freaking awesomeee to have a break... from all these.

i've got a few things which i need to do over the holidays.
but bah.
who cares.
holidays holidays holidays
break break break
that's all matters! =)

and and.. i misss the caramel popcorns with peanutsss!!!!!!!!!!

it's the bestest popcorns ever!!!!!!!!!!!
i miss the times i smuggled 'em into the cinema. with bottled moutain dew /and plain water. wakkaka.

ps/ break=typo error=berak. ewwww

This night

tonight,

i was thinking..hard, when will be the time i could have my nails painted red again? miss my trademark red coloured nails and french mani..
le sigh.

ah...fi.

tonight,

i spoke to one good friend, chucking out my rants and grumbles.

and thanks to you,

i'm feeling helllots better now.

-be a bitch. dont just say, must BE.

tonight,

i was mad at mrS over a mug of milo.

the reason?

i asked him to make a milo for me, but he did not.

moment later i was keksim. and said to him 'ask you make milo for me but u didnt.'

and found out that he didn't know i asked him to make me milo cause he did not pay attention to me when i told him that.

but still, i was angry.

he came to my room, wanted to fill up my bottle of water and i said no need.

as i was still very angry.

but now i feel damn guilty already.

cause he's my mosttt loveddddddddddddd and mosstmossssttmosssst important person in my life.

he's the mostestgreatest dad in the whole wide world!!

how would my life be without him.

no, i don't want to think about it.

sigh. so veryveryvery sorry, pa.

tonight,
i looked through the pics i took during one of those carefree days;
when i had all the time to sleep well, rest well, and travel.
i truly miss those times.

it's alright, i told myself;
gone are the 5 days.
no worries, i told myself;
it's just another 60 working days.

somehow i went through the 5 days.
despite how much less faith i have in myself.
i made it through, for now.
and tmr will be the 6th.

3 months from now,
around this time of the 3rd month,
i shall be ready for another carefree days and months ahead.
and with that, dancing queen i shall be.
cheering and smiling all night long,
for the stress is no longer mine.

i wish... tmr is the 60th day..somehow..

well oh well... tmr is just another day.
another day to challenge my perseverance and my determination to make it all the way through to the 60th day.

bring it on!

Another

61..days.
yesterday, i looked at the bright side of life, for once.

62

and that's the amount of days that i still need to be brainfucked.

patient baby. patient.

saw this pic while sieving through the loads of pix.
it reminds me of those happy times that i once had.
and i miss miss those happy times.
i wish i am that happy now.

le sigh.. FI.

2 days down.

i'm stress. tired. stress. lethagic. stress. brainfucked. stress. fuckedup.

the only word i could comprehend now is- stress.

i wish i am there some how.

ahh...FI FI FI.